Job 32:3
"Also against his three friends was his wrath kindled, because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job."
Correction is an important part of anyone's life.
Without correction a person will go the wrong way and hurt themselves. The purpose of correction should be to help a person know what is the right and wrong way to do things.
In the verse above, Elihu was upset with Job's three friends because they condemned him without giving him an answer. In other words, he was saying that they had no right to correct him if they were not going to show him why he was wrong and how to do right. That is the key to effective correction.
Correction that is administered in a wrong way will only cause a person to become bitter. Proverbs 15:10 says, "Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way: and he that hateth reproof shall die." Notice, correction can be grievous. The word "grievous" means, "crushing, awful, bad or hurting." In other words, if correction is not administered in a right way, it will crush or hurt the one who is being corrected.
You will also notice because it was grievous, it caused them to forsake the way. Maybe this is the reason many leave the right way and end up doing wrong. Many parents have administered correction in a wrong way only to drive their children to a life that they did not want them to live. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. I'm not indicting every parent whose child has gone wayward of correcting them the wrong way. I'm saying that there are some who corrected in the wrong manner and they drove their children away. Many Christians have stopped attending church because they were corrected in a wrong manner. This is no excuse to drop out of church, but it is a cause of why some no longer serve the LORD.
The key to effective correction is found in the verse above when it says, "they had found no answer." Correction that is administered properly will do three things. First, the correction itself will show that sin and doing wrong will cause pain. The pain of the correction itself will cause the one who did wrong to think twice about doing wrong again.
Second, correction that is administered in a right way will show that you lose freedoms when you do wrong. You can't do wrong and get everything back like it used to be. Sin and wrong causes a person to lose freedoms, and proper correction will take certain freedoms away.
Third, and most importantly, proper correction will teach why they are being punished and show how to do right. This is what takes the grievousness away from correction. When a person is corrected and they learn why it is wrong and how to do the right, then correction has done its work. If all you do is tell them why it is wrong and not how to do right, then they will do wrong again because they don't know better. Correction is a teaching time to show someone how to do right. The correction itself will show them it's wrong, but they need to know how to do right.
Administering correction should never be enjoyable; however, times of correction should be used as a teaching time to show how to do right. If you do this, then you will find that correction won't be as painful to you and the one receiving the correction. Correction works if it is administered right, but it will drive a person away if it is administered in a wrong way. Be sure whenever you administer correction that you take the time to teach why you are correcting someone, and how they can do right so they can avoid correction in the future.