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Dealing with a Backslidden Child
Judges 14:5
"Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him."
One of the worst things to see is a parent who is brokenhearted over their child who is backslidden. Often parents will ask me how to deal with their child who has gone wayward. Samson's parents can certainly understand the feeling of dealing with a wayward child. Here was a young man who had all the potential in the world to do something for God, and yet he wasted his life in sin. Though you may feel for Samson's parents, you will see that they made a bad mistake by condoning his sin in an attempt to get him back. As bad as they wanted him to come back to God, they should have done right, even if he wouldn't have agreed with them. Let me give you several helps on dealing with a backslidden child.
First, never support their disobedience. Often parents will feel guilty if they don't support their child, but you must realize that you can only support obedience. For example, if your child is getting married and they are planning to have alcohol at the reception, you should support them by being at the wedding, but don't go to the reception. You would be supporting their disobedience if you went to the reception. They need to understand that you will never support disobedience no matter what the event may be.
Second, find the good that they do and praise it. Though your child may be doing wrong, I would imagine there is something that they are doing right. Find the good that they are doing and praise that good. Remember that the Scriptures say in Romans 12:21 that you "...overcome evil with good." Your child still needs to see that you still notice the good that they do.
Third, don't preach, but pray. What I mean by this is there are many parents who think they need to preach at their children every time they are around them in an attempt to get them right with God. The only thing you will do by preaching at them is to run them away. Praying for them will do more to bring them back than preaching at them will. They expect you to preach at them, and because of their backslidden ways, they will give you more reasons to preach. Pray for them and let God do the work in their heart.
Fourth, don't bargain right to get them to come back. Often parents will compromise something in an attempt to get their child back. Christian, never let down in one area thinking that if you do they will come back. You must realize that truth must always be obeyed. Don't let your heart make the decision, but let truth decide how you live. If they can get you to compromise in one area, then they will justify what they are doing by thinking that truth must not be that important to you if you will change.
Fifth, don't sacrifice the other children for one. This is tough, but when you allow a backslidden child to do wrong under your roof, you are ruining your other children. There will be times when you will have to ask a backslidden child to move on for the sake of saving your other children.
Last, love your backslidden child. They need to know that you love them for who they are and not for what they do. That is how God loves us. When you love them where they are and not for what they do, that love will convict them in a greater way. It is amazing how love can many times preach the loudest sermons to the backslidden.
Parent, don't ever give up in your desire to see your backslidden child get right with God. Do right and trust God that He is dealing with their heart. You are not the first one who has had a child disappoint you, so don't second guess yourself and keep doing right.