Galatians 2:11
"But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed."
Dealing with differences in a confrontational manner is never easy.
Many do not like to deal with problems in face to face situation to resolve a matter, so they let the issue at hand go unresolved which only makes matters worse. When I'm talking about confrontational, I am not inferring that you should be boisterous or physical, I'm simply saying that there are times when you should confront a person face to face.
When Paul had differences with people, he resolved these issues by confronting them. He did not talk behind someone's back, but he always confronted them because that was the best way to handle a difference. In the verse above, Paul confronted Peter because Peter added circumcision to the Gospel. Instead of talking about Peter behind his back, Paul went straight to the source and resolved the issue. If Paul had handled this issue the way most people do, Peter may have continued to preach a works salvation. Instead, a problem was solved because Paul believed in confrontational resolution.
Many people could keep good relationships with people if they would learn to solve their problems by going straight to the source. It may put a lot of pressure on you at the moment, but it will relieve you of much unrest and quarreling if you will handle it in a confrontational manner. Let me give you some thoughts on confrontational resolution.
First, when you hear something about someone else, instead of going off someone's word, go directly to them and ask them if what you heard is true. Just because someone told you something doesn't make it true. By going to the source every time you hear something, you can stop many people from gossiping if they know you will do this.
Second, when someone says something false about you, go directly to them to resolve the problem. I have made this a practice in my life and it's amazing how it can stop many rumors. Most people don't expect this, so when you confront them it puts them off guard and will more than likely cause them to stop saying false things about you. You can brood over the false report, or you can confront someone and get it settled.
Third, don't be confrontational when you are confronting them. You don't want to go in as if you are going to fight because that will cause a fight. Simply, tell a person what you heard and deal with it from that point. Be firm, but don't be argumentative.
Fourth, confront someone so that you can resolve the issue. Your purpose for confronting someone is to end the gossip about you or someone else. Most of the time you can resolve issues if you handle it the right way.
Finally, ask the Holy Spirit to control you and the other person before you confront them. Don't go in the flesh, but go being led of the Spirit. This will help you to go into this confrontation in a spiritual manner and may save you from saying something foolish.
Confrontational resolution is the best way to handle differences. Writing notes is the cowards way out. Handling things face to face is what the Scriptures teach. Don't let your dislike for confrontation stop you from dealing with issues. Deal with it now, and you can resolve the issue for good.