Malachi 2:17
“Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?”
In the last few verses of the Book of Malachi, God deals with the relationship of the husband and wife. In verse 16, He specifically warns the husband to “take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.” The spirit God was talking about was the spirit of the wife. God then says the one thing that can weary a relationship to the point of destruction are the words you speak.
It is truly amazing to me the power of words in a relationship. All it takes is one time to say the wrong thing, and a marital relationship is forever damaged. You must be careful not to weary your spouse with your words. Just like god was wearied with the words of His people, you can weary your spouse with your words and destroy a good relationship. Many relationships have been destroyed because of words spoken. Yes, the marriage may stay together, but the spirit between the married couple is destroyed because of words spoken. There are several types of words that can destroy a marriage.
First, hurtful words can destroy a relationship. What you say about your spouse in a time of disagreement can damage your relationship. Be careful that you don't say things on purpose to hurt the spirit of your spouse. Telling your spouse that they are just like their parents won't help your relationship. Calling them names is hurtful and will damage your relationship. You may only be saying these words in a moment of anger, but those words dig deep and may hurt the one you love.
Second, careless words can hurt your marriage. Be cautious not to be careless with what you say about your spouse. For instance, carelessly comparing your spouse to another person in a demeaning manner will hurt your relationship. If your spouse struggles with their weight, be careful that you don't say things that would hurt their spirit. What is said in jest can be taken seriously and can destroy the spirit of your marriage.
Third, degrading words can hurt your marriage. Be careful about saying degrading things concerning special times in your marriage relationship. Friend, the tone of your voice can make words sound more degrading than what you truly meant. The best way to keep this from happening is never to degrade anything in your marriage. If your spouse has done something for you, never say something that could sound like you don't appreciate it. Never minimize landmarks in your marital relationship. The day you first met, the time they first told you that they loved you or the day you got married should never be degraded. Those should be sacred times that are never minimized with words.
Fourth, damaging words will destroy your marriage. The word “divorce” should NEVER be used. All it takes for you to crack the door to divorce is to mention one time the possibility of divorce. Your spouse may take that as an invitation to kick the door wide open. You may later mention you didn't mean what you said, but because you used that word they took it as an opportunity to get out of a relationship that has been destroyed with words.
One word spoken is all it takes to damage your marriage. Be careful with what you say. Realize that once you say a word it can never be retracted. The best way to protect the spirit of your marriage is to be careful with what you say.