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Building In-Law Relations
Exodus 18:2
"Then Jethro, Moses' father in law, took Zipporah, Moses' wife, after he had sent her back,"
One of the best in-law relationships that you find in the Scriptures is the relationship between Moses and Jethro, his father-in-law. Moses' status among the Israelites and his busy schedule could have caused problems with Jethro, but we find that these two men got along very well. When you study their relationship, you find several keys that helped them build a good relationship.
First, Jethro supported their marriage. I don't know, and this is pure speculation, but it seems from the verse above that maybe Moses and his wife were having some marriage problems. The verse above states that Jethro sent his daughter back to Moses. He realized that he needed to support their marriage and not be a wedge between his daughter and her husband, Moses. If you want to build good relations with your in-laws, then you need to support their marriage. Listen, you should never try to destroy the marriage of your children because you don't like who they married. You should do your best to support the marriage realizing that God's command is for them to stay married until death parts them. If you become a wedge in your children's marriage, you could in essence be fighting against God's command for them to stay married. You will do more to help your children by supporting their marriage than you will by fighting against your in-laws.
Second, be genuinely concerned about your in-laws. Notice in verses 7-8, that Moses and Jethro were concerned how each were doing. Don't just be concerned with your side of the family, but be concerned with the in-laws as well. Being concerned with them will help you to build good relations with your in-laws.
Third, do spiritual acts together. In verse 12, you see Jethro and Moses making a sacrifice together. In other words, they were serving God together. One of the best tools in building good relations with your in-laws is serving God together. One of the things that has helped me to have a very good relationship with my in-laws is that we serve God together. This gives us a common thing to talk about when we are together. You would be wise to spend time serving God with your in-laws.
Fourth, be careful and wise when giving advice. In the latter part of chapter 18, you will read that Jethro gave some good advice to Moses that helped him in his career. Let me be very forward and tell you that you should rarely give advice to your in-laws. If they want your advice they will ask you. Be stingy with your advice, and only give it when asked. The only other time you should give advice is when its obvious that it will help them, but even then you would be wise to keep it to yourself. You don't want to be seen as someone who is meddling in your in-laws personal affairs.
Last, leave properly. In verse 27, Jethro left Moses properly. Whenever you leave your in-laws, always strive to leave under good circumstances. It should be that your in-laws were happy to see you and look forward to you coming back.
In-law relations can be good. I thank God for my in-laws and the great relationship we have with each other. When you have good relations with your in-laws, then you have built another block in the foundation of a great marriage. Do everything in your power to have good relations with your in-laws.