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Forgiveness is Unfair
Matthew 18:34
"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him."
God never said that forgiveness fair. In fact, when you forgive someone it is truly unfair because you are the one who has to pay the price. The story from the verse above is about a man who owed ten thousand talents to someone. This man's loan came due and he had nothing with which to pay it back. Because he had no money, he begged the debtor to have patience with him until he could pay. The Scriptures says that the debtor forgave his debt. However, this same man went out and found someone who owed him an hundred pence. Now a hundred pence is far less than ten thousand talents. Yet, when the man who owed a hundred pence begged for mercy, the man who was forgiven ten thousand talents had him cast into prison until he paid the debt. When it was found out what this man did, the original debtor took this man who owed ten thousand talents and delivered him to the tormentors until he paid his debt. This story of forgiveness teaches us how unfair forgiveness is.
First, someone must be wronged for forgiveness to occur. You cannot forgive someone until you are wronged. That means that some time in life someone is going to wrong you. You must realize that you will not get through this life unscathed. This is why you must have forgiveness available for people, because at some time you will be wronged.
Second, the wrong comes from someone you know. You will notice in the story above that there was a relationship between the characters of the story. Likewise, when you are wronged it will most likely be by someone with whom you have a relationship. It may be a family member, friend, or church member, but you will most likely be wronged by someone close to you.
Third, forgiveness is not about the offender paying a price. The whole story was not about the one who did the wrong paying for what they did, it was about the one who was wronged offering forgiveness. Many people wait to until they see the person who wronged them pay for their transgression before they will forgive them. This is not forgiveness! There are people who will not forgive because they don't see the person who did the wrong suffering. You must realize that if you are going to forgive, you must not be concerned with whether they pay a price for their transgression. Stop waiting for someone to pay before you decide to forgive. God will make sure that person pays, but true forgiveness is not concerned with them paying.
Fourth, forgiveness means you will lose. It says in verse 32, "...I forgave thee all that debt..." Notice that the one who forgives pays the biggest price. If you practice forgiveness, you will have to pay. That means if you forgive the one who owes you money, you will be out the money. When someone wrongs you, you will end up losing. Stop waiting for everything to balance out and realize that when you forgive, you will get the short end of the stick.
Last, you are the one who pays the biggest price for unforgiveness. In the verse above, you will see that because this man did not forgive he was tormented. Christian, if you don't learn to forgive, then you will live a life of torment. You must be willing to pay the price of forgiveness so that you are not tormented with it the rest of your life. Yes, forgiveness is unfair, but it is better to pay the price of the unfairness than to be tormented the rest of your life.