Attitudes for Lasting Relationships
Nehemiah 9:17
"And refused to obey, neither were mindful of thy wonders that thou didst among them; but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a captain to return to their bondage: but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not."
God's attitude towards Israel is amazing when you consider how often Israel strayed from Him. Israel often pushed God aside for other gods, and yet He would take them back when they repented of their sin. God's attitude towards Israel is the same attitude you must take towards others if you want to build lasting relationships. Every relationship has risks, but the assets of each relationship far outweighs the liabilities you will encounter. The verse above shows what attitude you must have with others if you want to build lasting relationships.
First, you must be ready to pardon. The word "pardon" is a powerful word. When someone is pardoned, their crime is wiped off their record. In other words, God was always ready to forget Israel's sin if they would come back to Him. If you are going to build lasting relationships, then you are going to have to be ready to pardon people. Lasting relationships cannot be built when you are constantly throwing the past at each other. A lasting relationship must be willing to let the past be the past. A lasting relationship must be willing to move on and build from the present. If you are not ready to pardon someone, then you will never build a lasting relationship. People are going to wrong you; therefore, you must be ready to pardon them when they do wrong. I always put it this way, be willing to give people a chance to have a bad day. If you are ready to pardon, then you won't destroy a relationship when someone wrongs you.
Second, you must be gracious and merciful. Grace is given when you don't deserve something, and mercy is not giving when you do deserve something. In other words, to build lasting relationships, you cannot be retaliatory. When someone wrongs you, you must be willing to be good to them. Lasting relationships are built upon people not retaliating towards the actions of others.
Third, you must be slow to anger. Many relationships have been unjustly destroyed because of anger. If you are going to build lasting relationships, then you must not allow your feelings to control your actions. There are times when you need to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself so that you can build a lasting relationship. If you want to build lasting relationships, then you are going to have to learn to keep your mouth shut when you want to say hateful things.
Fourth, lasting relationships are built on kindness. In other words, you must be considerate of others to build lasting relationships. Be considerate of their feelings and desires. Be willing to lay aside your desires so they can have theirs fulfilled. Lasting relationships are built by both sides being unselfish.
Lastly, lasting relationships are built by determining never to forsake each other. When others forsake someone, you must be willing to stand with them. When the other person in a relationship is being attacked by all, you must be willing to stand with them. Relationships are built in the bad times, not the good times. How you stand with someone when times are bad will determine whether you will have a lasting relationship.
Life is filled with relationships. Your desire should be to build each relationship to last a lifetime. Life is too short to destroy relationships. Do your part to build lasting relationships, so when you are old you will not be a lonely person. Lasting relationships will drive loneliness away.