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Mending Strained Relationships
Genesis 33:1
"And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the two handmaids."
Anytime you enter into a relationship with a person, you always have the chance of experiencing hurt. In fact, it doesn't matter how "perfect" your relationship with a person is, you will have times of hurt and disagreement with that person. When this happens, you will find that your relationships will be strained. At this point you must be careful not to allow that strained relationship to progress into a hated relationship. If you don't deal with the cause of the strained relationship, then you could end up with a bitter relationship. Life is too short to allow circumstances to strain relationships. Whenever your relationship is strained with someone, quickly work to repair it so that you don't lose a good friendship.
Jacob and Esau certainly had a strained relationship. Jacob deceived Esau so many times that their relationship as brothers was hurt. In the verse above, you see that Jacob and Esau were about to meet each other again. Jacob thought that Esau was coming to get revenge, so he prepared himself to limit his casualties. Yet, what is interesting is that Esau was coming to mend a strained relationship. Though many times Esau gets no praise, he was the one who reached out when it should have been Jacob. Because Esau reached out and tried to mend their strained relationship, it gave Jacob an opportunity to right his wrongs.
If you are going to mend a strained relationship, you must stop avoiding the person you have wronged. As humans we tend to avoid being uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable to have to face someone whom we have wronged, but if you are going to mend a strained relationship, then you will have to eventually face that person. Avoiding the person in a strained relationship will do nothing to heal the hurts. Someone has to be willing to reach out and try to mend the relationship.
When you finally come face to face with the person with whom you have a strained relationship, then admit your guilt. Yes, most likely there was wrong on both sides, but you must be the bigger person and admit your wrong whether or not they admit theirs. Your goal is to mend a strained relationship, and you will never mend it until someone admits guilt.
Furthermore, after you have admitted your guilt, you should then try to do what you can to right your wrong. Again, let me remind you that it is not about what the other person does, it is about what you are trying to do. It is your responsibility to try to make right what you did wrong. You will never be successful in mending a strained relationship unless you make your wrong right.
Next, to heal the hurt and further repair the strained relationship, give some gifts to that person. I'm not saying you have to do it all at once, but find some things that person likes and periodically give them gifts. It is amazing how you can change a person's perception of you when you give them gifts.
Last, remember that time is a great healer. As you follow the steps above, you will find over time that whatever caused the strained relationship will simply be a bump in the road of life. Years down the road you both will look back at it and realize how insignificant it really was and will be thankful that you didn't allow it to ruin a good relationship. Work the steps above and allow time to heal your strained relationship.