Baptist City Blog

This marriage relationship was divided into two relationships. This wife said that her husband was her “beloved,” but she also said that he was her “friend.” 

Throughout this book, you see this husband and wife talk about their love for each other, but you find the key that made this relationship sweet in this verse above. The key wasn't that he was her “beloved,” though it is paramount that your spouse is the one you love the most. The key wasn't that her husband was her friend, though again this is an important part of every marriage. The key was that her husband was “altogether lovely.”

What makes this the key to making this relationship great was that when she packaged her husband together, she found that he was“altogether lovely.” In other words, she could have picked him apart and focused on the negatives, but she chose to look at her husband as a whole and found that “altogether” he was a lovely person. As in any person, she could have easily focused on the negatives, but she chose to package him together, and when packaged together he was “altogether lovely.”

Every relationship is a combination of multiple relationships. For instance, your spouse should be your lover, friend, confidant, and much more. If you only have one relationship with your spouse, you have a weak marriage. One of the things I have learned the longer I am married is that my wife and I have multiple relationships built into one. This is what makes marriage such a great relationship. By having more relationships built into one, we have more than one thing to converse over.

Likewise, my daughter is more than just my daughter. What makes my relationship with my daughter unique is that we have built several relationships into one. Every time we build into our relationship another one, it allows the whole relationship to become fuller.

Furthermore, my relationship with my pastor is more than just being a pastor. One mistake that many church members make is they only let their pastor be their preacher instead of a pastor, preacher, advisor, friend and more. The closeness and fullness of any relationship will be determined by how many relationships are built into them.

Here is the key! The more relationships you have built into one, the more likelihood you have of discovering weaknesses or irritants that could destroy the relationship if you focus on them. The key to making every relationship great is to package it together and look at it as a whole. If you package together every relationship you have with a person, I believe you will be able to say that “altogether” you have a “lovely” relationship. When you package a person together as a whole with whatever relationship you have with them, you always find that the packaged deal is what makes the relationships special.

My friend, don't make the mistake of picking a person apart. You will destroy your relationship with a person if you focus on the few negatives. If you choose to view your relationship with an individual as a packaged relationship, I believe you will find that the package deal will always be “altogether lovely.”