Sibling Rivalry
Genesis 25:26
"And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau's heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them."
The story of Jacob of Esau is a sad story that could have been avoided if their parents would have stopped the rivalry at the beginning. From the womb of their mother, these two young men fought with each other, and this rivalry continued until later in life. The sad part about this whole story is that their parents encouraged the rivalry by having favorites. There is no place for sibling rivalry in the home. It should be avoided and squelched immediately. Let me give you a few thoughts about sibling rivalry.
First, sibling rivalry is a result of selfishness. One of the main reasons siblings fight is because they want something that the other has. You will often see sibling rivalry rearing its ugly head when siblings fight over toys. God commands us in Philippians 2:4, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." When parents see their children being selfish, they need to stop it immediately because it will eventually pass on to relationships.
Second, sibling rivalry is often a result of a child needing their parent's attention. I have seen parents have a sick child and give all their attention to help that child only to starve the other children of attention. You must be careful not to let something like this happen in your home. Though a sick child may need extra attention, you cannot take attention away from your other children for this will drive a wedge between them, and could even cause them to despise the one who received all the attention.
Third, every child must feel that they are loved the same. One of the causes of rivalry is when couples who already have children get married, and now their children have to get along with each other. If your spouse already had a child before you got married, and then you had a child together, you must be extra careful that no child feels that they are not as loved as the other. Give time to each child to avoid this.
Fourth, parents must be careful not to play favorites with their children. Isaac and Rebekah contributed to the sibling rivalry by having their favorite child. As a parent, be careful about allowing yourself to have a favorite child. Yes, maybe one child seems to take to you better than the other, but you must love all your children the same. Never treat one child better than the other. Be just in your treatment of all your children.
Finally, if you are in a family where sibling rivalry is prevalent, don't be a part of it. Try to be a peacemaker in the home. It is better to learn how to work out your relationships for you will want to have a good relationship with your siblings later in life. If you are having a hard time getting along with a sibling, ask God to show you how you can mend that relationship. Sibling rivalry can be fierce and will hurt your relationship with your siblings in the future.