Genesis 16:2
"And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai."
One of the main causes of dysfunctional homes is that one or more family members are shirking their duties.
When you look at Abram's home, you would have a hard time saying that it was not dysfunctional. He himself was the result of a dysfunctional home, and he didn't seem to overcome some of the problems that affected his upbringing. Then you look at Abram himself and see that there was lying, unfaithfulness and disrespect for each other. It is no wonder that his home was dysfunctional. Yet, there were two main things that led to the dysfunction in his home.
First, Sarai shirked her duty of following and pressured Abram to let her take the reins of household leadership. From the beginning God never intended for the wife to take the leadership role. Because Abram and Sarai had no children, and because their desire for a child was great, Sarai pressured her husband into going in unto their maid to try and have a child through her. Sarai stepped out of her role of following her husband and used her influence over her husband in part led to the dysfunction in their home.
Ladies, the power you have over your husband is great. You can use that power to get your way, but that will only lead to a dysfunctional home. Your silence because your husband decides to do something you don't want to do is your way of manipulating your husband into doing what you want to do. Then there are some ladies who are not manipulative about not following their husband, they just won't follow and they make that known. You may get what you want, but your unwillingness to follow your husband's leadership will lead to a dysfunctional home. Ladies, you must be careful that you don't use your influence to pressure your husband into doing something that will lead to a dysfunctional home.
Second, Abram shirked his duty of leadership. It doesn't matter how much pressure Sarai put on her husband, he should have never allowed her pressure to cause him to step down from the role of leader in the home. When he shirked his duty as the leader in the home, it led to dysfunction that followed his family to this day.
Men, your job is to be the leader in your home. When you shirk your duty of leadership, then you cause your home to become dysfunctional. I don't care how much pressure your wife may put on you, and it really doesn't matter how uncomfortable the pressure may be. You are a man, and you should lead no matter what pressure is applied. Far too many men shirk their duty of leadership in the home because they just don't want to put up with the grief their wife will give. Men, if you want your home to be what it ought to, then you need to lead your home.
Every dysfunctional home can be traced back to either the husband or wife shirking their duties. The duty of the wife is to follow her husband's leadership, and the duty of the husband is to lead the home. If both husband and wife will fulfill their duty in the home, then you will find a home that operates properly and a home that is filled with peace.