Stop Throwing Things

1 Samuel 20:33
“And Saul cast a javelin at him to smite him: whereby Jonathan knew that it was determined of his father to slay David.”

Saul seemed to have the same problem that many people have when they get angry, and that was that he wasn’t able to control his emotions. When he got angry with David, he reacted by throwing a javelin at him, and it nearly killed him. Saul did more damage by throwing the javelin than if the javelin had struck David. Yes, if the javelin had struck David it would have killed him, but Saul deeply hurt a relationship with a friend, confidant, and a family member by throwing that javelin.

Many people make the same mistake as Saul made when they get angry with others. I could discuss how physically throwing things like Saul did is wrong, and it is, but that is not what I want you to see from this story. There are other things which we throw around when we get angry which can do more damage than physically throwing things.

One of the first things you must guard against when angry is that you don’t throw accusations towards others. Accusations are easy to hurl at people when we get angry, but you must understand that once the accusation is thrown it can never be retrieved. You must be careful that you don’t allow the first thing that comes to your mind to be what comes out of your mouth. Don’t allow your mouth to hurl the javelin of accusation at others when you get angry.

Moreover, you must also guard against throwing personal attacks at those with whom you are angry. Many times we get personal and start comparing people to others whom we know are a bad comparison, but it is our way of winning the battle of words. One thing you must always remember is that nobody ever wins the battle of personal attacks. Many people are hurt, and often the damage that is causes can never be repaired.

The answer to what you should do when you are angry must first be to question if you did something wrong. Always look at yourself to question if there is something you can change. Don’t always assume that the person you are angry with is wrong. You will find that there is something you can change about yourself that has contributed to the strained relationship. Whenever you find yourself in a strained relationship, always look to yourself first to find the fault.

Second, stay under control when you get angry at another person. Proverbs 16:32 says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” Don’t let your emotions be the operator of your actions; rather, let the Holy Spirit be the One Who guides what you do. Your flesh and emotions will often destroy relationships because they are reactionary. The Holy Spirit doesn’t respond to circumstances, but He controls you based on the Word of God. If you want to stay under control when you get angry, you are going to have to quickly stop yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to take control.

Third, communicate the differences after the anger subsides. Lack of communication is often the source of contentious behavior. If you learn to communicate with those you are having a problem with, you will find that you can solve the problem in a Christlike manner. Don’t be guilty of throwing things, but stay under control so you can salvage and build your relationships with others.