James 4:1
"From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?"
Conflict is a part of life which everyone will have to endure. Countries have conflicts with each other. Christians have conflicts with each other. Churches will oftentimes have conflict amongst its members. Sadly, marriages and families will often endure conflict. Anytime you have sinful people, you are going to have conflict.
The question is asked in the verse above, "From whence come wars and fightings among you?" God asks a rhetorical question because He knows the answer. God is not asking because He does not know why there is conflict, but He asks because He is about ready to show the source of every conflict. God shows us four reasons why there is conflict.
First, there is conflict because there is a prayer problem. God shows us in verse 2 that we fight because we have not asked Him in prayer. God is showing that a lack of a prayer life is the very root of every conflict. If married couples would pray instead of fighting, they would find their conflicts to be resolved. If families would pray about their problems instead of fighting about their problems, they would find their conflicts between each other would quickly be resolved. The only reason you have a conflict with someone is because your prayer life is lacking. If you will fix your prayer life, you will find that conflicts will lessen. If you would learn to quickly go to prayer instead of fighting, you would find that God will resolve the conflict. Instead of engaging in conflict, go to God in prayer and let Him know about your disagreement with someone.
Second, there is conflict because there is a focus problem. Verse 3 shows us that conflict is a result of having our eyes upon ourselves. Stop making yourself the issue in everything. Most conflict is caused because we feel that we were mistreated or that we should have received something. If you take your eyes off yourself and live for others, then you will find that conflict will not arise because you are not the issue.
Third, there is conflict because there is a submission problem. Verse 7 shows that when a person doesn't submit to God, then they will have conflict. Your conflict with others is not about what they have done, but it is truly about you not submitting to God. Conflict problems are submission problems. When you won't submit yourself to God, then it results in having conflict with others.
Fourth, there is conflict because there is a location problem. Verse 8 shows that where you are in relation to God is the source of your conflict. The closer you are to God, the less conflict you will have with others. It is when you are pulling away from God that you have conflict with others.
What is interesting is that the conflict you face in life all comes down to your fellowship with God. If you will draw closer to God, then you will submit to God. If you will submit to God, then you will keep your eyes on God. If you will keep your eyes on God, then you will always pray to Him for He is the One Who is nearest you with whom you want to share your disagreements. Friend, every conflict you have with others is only revealing your lack of fellowship with God. Conflict problems are fellowship problems. If you fix your fellowship with God, then you can resolve every conflict in life.