Baptist City Blog

1 Peter 3:7

There is a saying that I really don't like that says, “You can't live with them, and you can't live without them.” This is of course a saying that men oftentimes say about their wives. If the truth be known, the reason it is so difficult for a man to live with his wife it is because he hasn't taken the proper actions to be a good husband. A wife might be easier to live with if men would make the effort to be a good husband.

The verse above talks about the husband dwelling with his wife. Whether or not you like it, when you are married you have to live under the same roof. Dwelling together can be a heavenly experience if you will follow God’s advice in being a good husband. Let me discuss God’s advice and how you can apply it to your marriage.

First, dwell with them according to knowledge. I’m afraid most men fail at this very first piece of advice. You will only know what your wife wants if you listen. Listening is giving your full attention to what your wife says without thinking about what you are going to say before she is done talking. Most men want analytical conversations that give the facts and no more. Ladies are going to be more story tellers in their conversations. Men could probably say in ten words what a wife will say in twenty. If you are truly going to understand your wife and dwell with her according to knowledge, then you need to listen. Set the remote down and give your undivided attention to what she is saying.

Second, treat your wife honorably. I’m amazed how many men treat their wife. Men, honour your wife by being faithful to her. Honour your wife by opening the doors for her. Honour your wife by always having something good to say. Talking negative about her behind her back is not right just because she doesn't hear you. If you won't honour her when she is not around you, then you won't honour her when she is in your presence. You might be surprised how well she will treat you if you learn to treat her properly.

Third, don't expect her to do what you can do. God calls the wife the “weaker vessel.” Just because you can carry the pressure of the world on your shoulders doesn't mean she can. Just because you go on after tragedy doesn't mean she can. I know we live in an age that portrays ladies in a masculine view, but that portrayal is wrong. Remember, your wife is not going to be able to do as much as you. Stop demanding your wife to respond to life and tragedy the same way you do.

Fourth, be heirs together. In other words, learn to make decisions together. Your wife has information that she should be able to give concerning decisions. Don't be so foolish as to not listen to her advice concerning decisions that need to be made. Yes, you should make the final decision, but take your wife’s advice seriously.

These four areas are not the fix all for your marriage, but they will certainly help you to dwell together in a peaceable manner. Don’t just read this devotional and forget it, but take its advice and work hard on each area. It will make your marriage the great institution that God originally intended for it to be.