The Key to a Happy Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:4
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”
God intended for marriage to be one of the most enjoyable relationships in life. A good marriage shows what Christ’s relationship to the church should be like. As Christians, your marriage should be something that you cherish.
As enjoyable as marriage is supposed to be, it can also be just as distasteful. When I think of a happy marriage, I think of my grandparents who were married for seventy-two years. I admired their relationship and the joy they had together. On the other hand, I have watched couples who made marriage look so miserable that if one were single, you might give a second thought about ever getting married.
The difference between an enjoyable marriage and one that is horrible is found in the verse above. The key to a happy marriage is having the right mindset. The verse above teaches that the husband and wife do not have “power” over their own body. In other words, they don’t belong to themselves, but they belong to their spouse. This is the difference between those who are happily married and those who’s marriage is disastrous. Those who are happily married are not involved in the relationship for themselves; rather, they seek the welfare of their spouse. This mindset will determine whether or not you have a happy marriage.
Society has pushed that a married person doesn’t have to do what their spouse tells them to do. This mindset has created selfish marriages. Husbands don’t think of their wife, they only think about what they want. Vice versa, the wife is doesn’t believe the husband has a right to tell her what to do because she is an adult. This mindset has created marriages that are filled with strife, because neither is willing to let their spouse tell them what to do. You can look at every divorce and see that there was a selfish mindset between that couple.
If you want to have a happy marriage, then you are going to have to change your mindset to realizing you belong to your spouse. The Scriptures teach that your spouse has every right to your body. The mentality that you don’t have to meet your spouse’s need is unscriptural. You don’t own your body, your spouse does. When something is owned, it really doesn’t have an opinion. In other words, you should set your opinions and selfishness aside, and allow your spouse to have the ownership of you as the Scriptures teach.
The way this is accomplished is found in the previous verse. God says, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” The word “benevolence” means, kindness. In other words, learn to be kind to your spouse at all times. The desire in your marriage should be to find ways to be kind to your spouse. When you take on the mindset that you belong to your spouse, it will not be hard to find ways to show kindness.
Let me encourage you to be careful about having the worldly mentality that your spouse doesn’t have a right to tell you what to do. The key to a happy marriage is realizing your spouse literally owns your body. When you adopt this mentality, you will find it easy to want to please your spouse. You will find it easy to “render…benevolence” to your spouse. It is your choice, you can be selfish in your marriage and have a horrible marriage, or you can adopt Christ’s counsel that you belong to your spouse and find that marriage is the most enjoyable relationship you can have apart from your relationship with Christ.