Romans 12:9
"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good."
Love should not be a performance, but it should be that which you truly feel. Often people will watch actors in a show or play, and the better they act, the more real they portray themselves to be that person. Yet, actors are merely representing a character this is nothing like them. How often have you heard of an actor who gets in trouble with the law and you are shocked because of who they portrayed themselves to be on some show? You are shocked because the character they portrayed is the opposite of their true representation.
God says, "Let love be without dissimulation." The word "dissimulation" means, "without pretense." In other words, love should not be a performance, but love should be transparent. There should be no ulterior motives behind love. Love should come from the heart. Love should be expressed in actions. It should not have any hypocrisy in it. It should not be given with a deceiving motive. It should always be transparent.
God continues to show His feeling towards dissimulated love by saying we should "Abhor that which is evil;..." God is saying that it is evil to have ulterior motives behind your love. True love is the greatest picture of God's love towards mankind. The reason it is so evil is because you are teaching that all love always has ulterior motives. God has no ulterior motives with His love. He truly loves the world, and He truly wants the best for everyone. We must be careful that we don't paint a picture that love always has some motivation behind it.
In the home, you must always make sure that love is transparent. There should never be motives behind the love inside the home. For instance, you should not allow children to show affection towards you for the sole purpose of getting something from you. This is deceitful and wrong! Love is not given to get something in return. Likewise, married couples must be careful about showing love for the purpose to gaining something in the end. Your love towards your spouse should be transparent. If you want your marriage to grow and become sweeter, then don't allow yourself to show love with motives. Let your love towards your spouse be pure love. Let it be a love that has no motive other than you want them to know your truly care for them.
Moreover, love needs to be transparent in the church. We must not allow our churches to be filled with deceitful accolades for the sole purpose of getting closer to the leader. A pastor must be careful that he doesn't allow the praise of followers to influence whether he promotes someone. This only leads to dissimulated love. If you are not careful, a church can be filled with deceit because everything has a motive behind what they do. This will destroy your church.
Simply put, don't ever show love with ulterior motives. Let your love be pure. Let it come from your heart. Always refrain yourself when tempted to show love so you can gain something. Let your love be a transparent love. When people see that you love transparently, then they will never wonder what your motive is for loving them. This is the type of love that God has for us, and this is the type of love we should show to others.