Click here to read the Old Paths Journal.
Wearing Out Your Welcome
Proverbs 25:17
"Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee."
Have you ever had anyone over to your house for a meal and they didn't know when to leave? There is nothing worse than trying to politely ask someone to go home. When I was a boy it was common for my parents to invite people over to the house for different events. I remember one Thanksgiving Day that we invited a family to the house for the meal. This family had fallen on hard times, and we wanted to be a blessing to them. They arrived before the meal, and for a while we had a wonderful time of fellowship. The problem was they didn't know when to leave. It was well into the night when my dad finally had to tell them to go home because it was time for us to go to bed.
The verse above deals with this very subject. God is teaching us to leave our neighbor's house before they get tired of us. In other words, God is teaching us not to wear our welcome out with those who are being kind to us. He said that if we wear out our welcome, then they will hate us. This is simply teaching that our neighbors will hate having us over to their house. To avoid this from happening, there are a few things you should consider when going to someone's house, or when inviting someone to your house.
First, find out how long the invitation is for. Whenever you invite someone to your house, or you are invited, set a time to arrive and leave. Often people just don't know how long they are supposed to stay. Sometimes people stay too long because they are afraid they will offend you if they leave too early. By setting a time limit on how long you expect them to stay, this will keep them from wearing out their welcome.
Second, if your children are invited, keep your children under control. Whenever someone would invite my family to their home, my parents would threaten us with punishment if we misbehaved. The quickest way to wear out your welcome is to allow your children to wildly run around. Teach your children to behave when visiting the homes of others. Of course, the best way to teach them to behave outside your home is to be sure they behave in your home. If they will behave at home, then they will behave when they are at someone else's home.
Third, plan activities of what you are going to do to keep the time from becoming dull. Don't just invite people over and not have anything to do, but have some things planned that everyone would want to do. It would be good to find out before they come if they would enjoy doing these activities so that they don't feel they have to do what you planned to keep from offending you.
Last, leave before the welcome is worn out. One of the invaluable things I have learned is to leave when they want you to stay. This may sound strange, but if they want you to stay, then they will want you to come back. Learn to evaluate how the situation is going, and if you perceive that things are starting to wind down, then leave. When you leave and they say, "We ought to do this again," then you have been successful at not wearing out your welcome.
I'm all for hospitality and for Christians fellowshipping with each other, but the quickest way to ruin this is to wear out your welcome. Be careful about staying too long. Don't be known as one to avoid having over to the house. Learn how long your welcome is, and leave before it's over.