Baptist City Blog

Winning Over the Heart

2 Samuel 15:6

"And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel."

As wicked as Absalom's disloyalty was to his father, we can still learn from his actions. The verse above says, "...so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel." Absalom stole the hearts of Israel so that he could take over the throne of Israel. Certainly he desired their hearts for the wrong purpose.

However, Proverbs 23:26 says, "My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways." You will notice that the father in Proverbs wanted the heart of his son so that he could get his son to follow whatever he asked him to do. Just like Absalom stole the hearts of the people, and the father wanted the heart of his son, likewise, every parent needs the heart of their child. Moreover, every leader also needs the heart of their follower. When you gain the heart of those you lead, then you can lead them in the way that God wants them to go. As I study this story, I find there are four things that Absalom did to win the people's hearts that you need to do to win the hearts of those whom you lead.

First, you must be among the people. Verse 2 says, "And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate:..." Absalom knew that if he spent time with the people, he would eventually be able to win their hearts. Every parent and leader needs to be around those whose hearts they want to win. A parent who is never with their child will not have the heart of their child. A pastor who's never with his people will never win the hearts of his people. A leader who is not with their followers will not win their hearts. No matter what your situation is, if you're going to win the hearts of those you lead,  then you must spend time with them.

Second, you must not act like you're above them. Absalom understood that he must live at the same level of the people. Too many leaders live above their people which only drives a wedge between them. As a leader, you need to live at the same level of your people so that you can win their heart over to you.

Third, help them with their problems. Absalom helped the people with their problems by helping them settle controversies they had with people and with life. Likewise, if you're going to win the hearts of your people, then you must be there to help them with their problems. One of the reasons why God allows followers to have problems is so that leaders can win their heart. The sad fact is too many leaders are absent when their followers have problems. If you want to win the heart of your followers, then you need to be there for them during their problems. Be there for them by listening to them. Sometimes all people need is someone who has a listening ear. Don't get so busy with your daily schedule that you don't have time to listen.

Fourth, have a dream with the people. Absalom had a dream with the people that they could work together to solve problems. You will notice that I did not say have a dream for the person, but have a dream with them. You and your followers must have dreams together. When you have a dream together, then you'll work together. When you work together, then you'll win their hearts.

Let Absalom's actions to gain the hearts of the people for a disloyal purpose be a lesson for you to gain the hearts of those whom you lead. Though he wanted their hearts to do wrong, you can try to gain the hearts of those you lead so that you can help them to become what God wants them to be.