Job 16:5
“But I would strengthen you with my mouth, and the moving of my lips should asswage your grief.”
Part of Job’s hardship was hoping that someone would understand
what he was going through. He certainly had no clue as to what was going
on and why, and those who came to “comfort” him certainly didn’t
either. What he did say during his time of grief says a lot about what
those who are hurting would like to be said to them.
The first thing Job said was that he didn't want people to falsely accuse him. Verse 4 says, “…if your soul were in my soul's stead, I could heap up words against you, and shake mine head at you.”
One of the worst things you can do to someone who is going through a
tough time is to assume that they are being punished by God. You don't
know that God is punishing someone. You can assume that you know, but
that doesn't make it true. Many people have been hurt deeply by someone
telling them they just need to get right with God. It may seem obvious
to you that God is judging someone, but leave that up to Him. Don’t let
your tongue become a tool to destroy, but let it be a tool to comfort
and build.
The second thing Job said was that he desired for someone to
strengthen him with their mouth. What you say to hurting people can
oftentimes hurt them more than the trial they are facing. Instead of
assuming that you know why someone is facing hard times, use your energy
and words to strengthen them during those hard times. There are plenty
of things you can say to help strengthen someone that will help them
through their tough time. You must not try to be God during someone’s
hardship. Your words during someone’s grief can help someone
tremendously if you use your words to strengthen them. A simple phrase
like, “I’m praying for you” will go a long ways. You don't have to
elaborate anymore. If they want you to say more, then they will open up
to you.
The third thing Job said was that he desired for someone to treat
him as if they were the one hurting. In other words, Job was saying that
he wished these men would put themselves in his shoes. One day you will
be in the shoes of the hurting. What you say now to those who are
hurting may be the very thing they say to you when you are hurting.
Would you want what you are saying to be said to you if you were
hurting? You could be training someone to help you in the future. As one
preacher said, “Be good to everyone, because everyone is having a tough
time.”
Friend, all around you are people who are hurting. Be careful about
using your words to hurt them in a greater way. You may be right in
your assumption that God is judging them, but let the Holy Spirit do His
work in their heart while you try to comfort and help them through
their hard time. You can either be a tool to drive people away from
Christ during their time of hurt or closer to Him with words of comfort.
Remember the words of Job the next time you are around someone and let
them guide you into helping others during their time of grief.