Baptist City Blog

Absentee Homes

1 Timothy 3:4

"One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;"

Being absent from a responsibility, function, or an educational lesson always hurts you and those with whom you're involved. There is a reason why schools have rules of how many times a student can be absent without affecting their grade. They know that the student who is absent from their class will miss many of the lessons they need to learn to pass and more to the next grade.

When you look at one of the responsibilities of a pastor or deacon, you will see that God expects them to rule their own home. Certainly if it is important for a pastor or deacon to rule their home, then it would be important for every man to rule his home. The importance of the home is evident in the Scriptures. However, when you look to see how to have a successful home, you will see that involvement is the key. When a man or a woman are absent from their responsibilities, then the home will suffer.

According to the Scriptures, ruling your home is the key to the man's involvement. To rule one's home is to regulate, control, or govern. In other words, a man should be directly involved with all the activities of the home. Absentee fathers or husbands will always hurt their home. The man is to set the guidelines for the home. The man is to set the direction that the home is to go. The man is to preside over the decisions of the home. Each of these will not be properly done if the husband is not present.

One of the reasons many young people suffer today is because of absentee fathers. Children need a father in the home who will be present to make decisions. Men, stop leaving all the decision making to your wife and get involved in the decisions of your home. Too many men sit on the sidelines and force their spouse to make all the decisions. Your job is not to come home and sit in the lounge chair and watch television all night. Your job is to get involved in your home by helping your children make decisions, and leading in the spiritual matters of the home.

Moreover, the key to the wife's involvement is to guide the home. 1 Timothy 5:14 says, "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house,..." The word "guide" means to advise, point, model and counsel. In other words, the importance of a wife being involved is imperative. Often the mother is the counselor of the children. It is important to counsel your children in the same direction in which your husband is trying lead. If you are more interested in your social media or outside affairs than you are with advising your children, then you will hurt their future. When your children come to you for advice, stop what you are doing and take time to give them the guidance they desire. Furthermore, you are the model for your children to see what your husband is trying to accomplish. Ladies, there should never be two agendas in the home. Always submit to your husband's leadership so you can properly guide your children. You can counsel and point your children to follow your husband, but if you are not modeling your counsel, then they will not follow you.

Don't be absent from your role in the home. Absentee parents always hurt their children. Don't get so busy in outside affairs and in church duties that your children must rear themselves. Your first obligation is to God and your family, everything else comes after that. Always remember that your absence will hurt those whom you lead.