Baptist City Blog

Absentee Homes

1 Timothy 3:4

"One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;"

Being absent from a responsibility, function, or an educational lesson always hurts you and those with whom you're involved. There is a reason why schools have rules of how many times a student can be absent without affecting their grade. They know that the student who is absent from their class will miss many of the lessons they need to learn to pass and more to the next grade.

When you look at one of the responsibilities of a pastor or deacon, you will see that God expects them to rule their own home. Certainly if it is important for a pastor or deacon to rule their home, then it would be important for every man to rule his home. The importance of the home is evident in the Scriptures. However, when you look to see how to have a successful home, you will see that involvement is the key. When a man or a woman are absent from their responsibilities, then the home will suffer.

According to the Scriptures, ruling your home is the key to the man's involvement. To rule one's home is to regulate, control, or govern. In other words, a man should be directly involved with all the activities of the home. Absentee fathers or husbands will always hurt their home. The man is to set the guidelines for the home. The man is to set the direction that the home is to go. The man is to preside over the decisions of the home. Each of these will not be properly done if the husband is not present.

One of the reasons many young people suffer today is because of absentee fathers. Children need a father in the home who will be present to make decisions. Men, stop leaving all the decision making to your wife and get involved in the decisions of your home. Too many men sit on the sidelines and force their spouse to make all the decisions. Your job is not to come home and sit in the lounge chair and watch television all night. Your job is to get involved in your home by helping your children make decisions, and leading in the spiritual matters of the home.

Moreover, the key to the wife's involvement is to guide the home. 1 Timothy 5:14 says, "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house,..." The word "guide" means to advise, point, model and counsel. In other words, the importance of a wife being involved is imperative. Often the mother is the counselor of the children. It is important to counsel your children in the same direction in which your husband is trying lead. If you are more interested in your social media or outside affairs than you are with advising your children, then you will hurt their future. When your children come to you for advice, stop what you are doing and take time to give them the guidance they desire. Furthermore, you are the model for your children to see what your husband is trying to accomplish. Ladies, there should never be two agendas in the home. Always submit to your husband's leadership so you can properly guide your children. You can counsel and point your children to follow your husband, but if you are not modeling your counsel, then they will not follow you.

Don't be absent from your role in the home. Absentee parents always hurt their children. Don't get so busy in outside affairs and in church duties that your children must rear themselves. Your first obligation is to God and your family, everything else comes after that. Always remember that your absence will hurt those whom you lead.

Why the Fallen Are Not Restored

Galatians 6:1

"Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

There is a pastor friend of mine who has a hobby of restoring old cars. I recently preached a meeting for him when he asked me if I would like to see some old cars that had been restored. He took me to a place where there had to be over 40 old cars that had been restored. I was amazed at the condition of these cars. Every car I looked at looked as if it was brand new. The owner of this shop takes old cars, and through a rigorous process restores them to their original condition. My thought that afternoon was that this is what God wants us to do with those whose lives have been marred by sin.

Not long after this opportunity, I was eating with another pastor friend when our conversation went to the condition of churches in America. I made a statement to him that one of the biggest reasons why we don't have revival is because of the sin that is swept under the carpet in our churches. This pastor responded in a classic way by saying that one of the biggest reasons this happens is because there are few spiritual people who are capable of restoring Christians. He referred to the verse above that says, "...ye which are spiritual, restore such an one..." He made the statement that it takes spiritual people to restore those who have fallen.

One of the works of Christianity is to restore those who have fallen into sin. It amazes me how aggressively we go after winning those to Christ who are living in sin, but we attack those who were once our co-laborers in Christ because they fell into sin. I ask you, why are we more concerned with the lost than we are with those who are saved but have made a tragic mistake? God's desire is that we would be concerned with both the lost and the fallen Christian.

However, to restore the fallen it takes someone who is spiritual. The reason God says it takes a spiritual Christian is because an unspiritual Christian will criticize and attack those who have fallen into sin instead of trying to help them. For someone to be restored, they must come clean with their sin. The core of any sin is deceit. There can be no restoration until deceit has been removed. Part of removing deceit is coming clean with people about what you have done. I often say you should never lie about anything, and that includes what you have done. However, if people are not spiritual, then deceit cannot be removed due to the attitude of the unspiritual Christian.

The verse above teaches us that the attitude of the spiritual is one of meekness because they also consider that they are capable of committing the same sin. When a spiritual Christian hears that one has fallen, in a spirit of meekness they do not condemn the fallen, but try to restore them. They keep this attitude because they realize they are capable of doing the same thing. Until Christians become like this, then we will continue to see our churches filled with sin.

Let me ask you, are you spiritual enough to restore the fallen? Are you part of the reason that we cannot get sin removed from our churches because you condemn those who have fallen? When you hear of someone who has fallen, do you gossip and shun that person? Don't be part of the problem, but be part of the solution in helping to restore people. Whenever you hear of someone who has fallen, always remember that you are capable of committing the same sin. Likewise, don't participate in the gossip of those who attack the fallen, but rather run to the side of the fallen and help restore them. Yes, I would rather our churches be like a new car lot that if filled with new cars, but that is not going to happen. So, let's make our churches like the shop that was filled with restored cars. The only way we can restore lives is if by being spiritual.

He Lifted Himself

John 8:7

"So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."

Place yourself in Jesus' shoes as He heard the Pharisees accuse this woman of adultery. They kept pushing Him to condemn this woman to death, but He would not lower Himself to their level. However, can you imagine how tiring it was to constantly put up with the harassment of the Pharisees? Yet, you never see Jesus' spirit get down. Instead, He stayed on top side throughout His life and ministry. You ask how He was able to do this? The answer is in the phrase from the verse above, "...he lifted himself,..." Jesus didn't wait for the circumstances to get better. He knew how to lift Himself when the circumstances wouldn't lift Him.

Every once in awhile I preach to a congregation of people to whom it is not easy to preach. When I preach to a congregation like this, I find myself having to look for another source to lift my spirit during the sermon. The people and circumstances won't lift me, so I must learn to lift myself so I can help the people.

The night that my mother went to Heaven was one of those nights. It was not the crowd who was hard to preach to, but it was dealing with my own spirit and the loss of my mother that I had to manage. Once I got through the initial shock of my mother passing, I went through my routine that I go through when I have to lift my own spirit. By the time I stood to preach, God's grace worked through my routine to lift my spirit so I could help those people.

Christian, circumstances are not always going to be right to keep your spirit on top side. There will be times in your life when you are going to have to lift yourself up just like Jesus did. When trials come your way, you will face days that you will have to lift yourself up so that you can still be a help to others. When you face attack from enemies and friends alike, you will need to learn how to lift yourself up. If you depend on circumstances to lift your spirit, then you will find your spirit will be like a temperature gauge: constantly going up and down.

One thing I have learned that lifts my spirit is good Christian music. Music plays an important role in your life. I have learned what songs or groups lift me up, so when I need to manually lift my spirit, I listen to them. I also have a couple of people to call when I need to get my spirit lifted. Though they do not know why I am calling, I know that every time I talk to them I feel better after I hang up the phone. These are just a couple of things that I do to lift my own spirit when the circumstances won't lift it.

Learn to study yourself. When you find something that makes you feel better, then write it down and use it again when you have to lift yourself. If it worked one time, it will work again. Those who seem to always have a good spirit don't always have everything go their way, but they have learned how to lift their own spirit so they can be a blessing to others. Be that rare individual who knows how to lift yourself up when nothing else will. You will find that if you can lift yourself despite your circumstances, then you will become one whom people will want to be around, because you will brighten their day as well.

The Causes of Strife

Luke 22:24

"And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest."

One of the most stressful things that leader must deal with is strife. It is very tiring for a parent to always deal with strife among their children. Pastors wear themselves out because they are constantly dealing with strife among church members. Employers are constantly trying to settle strife between employees. Strife is an age-old problem that goes back to Cain and Abel. Even Jesus, Who was the greatest leader of all time, dealt with strife among His disciples. However, when studying the Scriptures, you will see there are four causes of strife.

The first cause of strife is the desire for position. The cause of strife in the verse above was the disciples desire to be the greatest. These disciples allowed their desire for position to hinder the work of Christ. Jesus quickly ended this strife by telling the disciples that the greatest is the one who serves others. Christian, stop striving for position. God knows your name and address, and when He feels you are ready for position He will give it to you. The only thing that happens when you start vying for position is you will cause strife with another who wants that same position. When you strive for position, you are only revealing that you are not ready for position. Those who are ready for position don't want it. All they want to do is get the work accomplished that needs to be done. Stop striving for position, and instead strive to get your work done.

The second cause of strife is the desire for possessions. In Genesis 13:7-8, we see that there was strife between Abraham and Lot's herdsmen. This strife was over real estate and who owned it. These herdsmen could not get along because they were concerned with who had the most possessions. When you live for possessions, you will find yourself at strife with yourself and others. This desire for possessions is a selfish desire. The desire for possessions causes strife because you want something that does not belong to you. The easiest way to overcome this cause of strife is to change your desire to please God. When you get to the point in your life when possessions are only a necessary evil to get through life, then you will find this strife will cease.

Serving personalities and not God is the third cause of strife. In 1 Corinthians 3:3-4, this worldly church was fighting over whose leader was the greatest leader. Some thought Paul was the greatest, while others thought Apollos was the greatest. This caused great strife among the early Christians. The same happens today within Christianity. There are many good men of God who are being used in a great way. The followers of these men often will fight over who is the greater personality. Let me remind you that we do not serve man, but we serve God. We should never fight over a personality. We are only commanded to contend for the faith. Be careful about lifting personalities so high that you lift them over truth. Always remember that a sign of a carnal Christian is when they fight over personality and not over truth.

The last cause of strife is jealousy. Romans 13:13 shows us that jealousy causes strife. When you become jealous of what someone else has, then you will start striving with them. You should never be jealous of what another has, but instead you should be thrilled that God has blessed them. If you live your life not expecting anything, then you will find yourself never becoming jealous over what others may get or have.

Christian, don't allow strife to be a part of your life. If you find yourself in constant strife, then it's time to grow up and make pleasing God the goal of your life. If your sole desire is to please God, then you will find that none of the causes of strife will exist in your life.