Lasting

Attitudes for Lasting Relationships

Nehemiah 9:17

"And refused to obey, neither were mindful of thy wonders that thou didst among them; but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a captain to return to their bondage: but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not."

God's attitude towards Israel is amazing when you consider how often Israel strayed from Him. Israel often pushed God aside for other gods, and yet He would take them back when they repented of their sin. God's attitude towards Israel is the same attitude you must take towards others if you want to build lasting relationships. Every relationship has risks, but the assets of each relationship far outweighs the liabilities you will encounter. The verse above shows what attitude you must have with others if you want to build lasting relationships.

First, you must be ready to pardon. The word "pardon" is a powerful word. When someone is pardoned, their crime is wiped off their record. In other words, God was always ready to forget Israel's sin if they would come back to Him. If you are going to build lasting relationships, then you are going to have to be ready to pardon people. Lasting relationships cannot be built when you are constantly throwing the past at each other. A lasting relationship must be willing to let the past be the past. A lasting relationship must be willing to move on and build from the present. If you are not ready to pardon someone, then you will never build a lasting relationship. People are going to wrong you; therefore, you must be ready to pardon them when they do wrong. I always put it this way, be willing to give people a chance to have a bad day. If you are ready to pardon, then you won't destroy a relationship when someone wrongs you.

Second, you must be gracious and merciful. Grace is given when you don't deserve something, and mercy is not giving when you do deserve something. In other words, to build lasting relationships, you cannot be retaliatory. When someone wrongs you, you must be willing to be good to them. Lasting relationships are built upon people not retaliating towards the actions of others.

Third, you must be slow to anger. Many relationships have been unjustly destroyed because of anger. If you are going to build lasting relationships, then you must not allow your feelings to control your actions. There are times when you need to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself so that you can build a lasting relationship. If you want to build lasting relationships, then you are going to have to learn to keep your mouth shut when you want to say hateful things.

Fourth, lasting relationships are built on kindness. In other words, you must be considerate of others to build lasting relationships. Be considerate of their feelings and desires. Be willing to lay aside your desires so they can have theirs fulfilled. Lasting relationships are built by both sides being unselfish.

Lastly, lasting relationships are built by determining never to forsake each other. When others forsake someone, you must be willing to stand with them. When the other person in a relationship is being attacked by all, you must be willing to stand with them. Relationships are built in the bad times, not the good times. How you stand with someone when times are bad will determine whether you will have a lasting relationship.

Life is filled with relationships. Your desire should be to build each relationship to last a lifetime. Life is too short to destroy relationships. Do your part to build lasting relationships, so when you are old you will not be a lonely person. Lasting relationships will drive loneliness away.

Battle

It's Not Your Battle

2 Chronicles 20:15

"And he said, Hearken ye, all Judah, and ye inhabitants of Jerusalem, and thou king Jehoshaphat, Thus saith the LORD unto you, Be not afraid nor dismayed by reason of this great multitude; for the battle is not yours, but God's."

Jehoshaphat made the same mistake that many Christians make in that he made God's battle his own battle, and the result was that he was"afraid" and "dismayed." Jehoshaphat saw the great multitude coming to destroy Judah, and because of his position, he thought it was his battle. What he forgot was that he was simply a representative of God. Anybody who fought against him was actually fighting against God. His job was not to be concerned with the outcome of the battle, but to do what God told him to do. If he had stayed focused on his responsibilities, then he would not have had to worry or fear.

In the LORD's work you will find that there are many battles that will be fought. Christians will be attacked for their stand for what is right. Churches will face battles against liberal politicians who want to control churches. Preachers will be attacked for standing and preaching the truth. In any case, the battle is the LORD's, and because it is His battle we must let Him do the fighting.

Two things happen when you make God's battle yours. First, fear will grip your heart. You will notice that God said to Jehoshaphat, "Be not afraid..." He was afraid because he made this battle his. The LORD's battles are too big for you. When you make them yours, it will be natural to have fear because you are not able to handle them. I am reminded of David fighting Goliath. His heart should have been filled with fear, but it seemingly wasn't. Why? Because he understood that it was the LORD's battle. You need not fear when you're fighting the LORD's battles because they are not yours. The battle you face today may seem unsurmountable, but you must realize that the battle is not yours, but God's. You can repel fear from your life if you will keep the battle in its right perspective.

Second, disillusionment will grip your mind when you make God's battle yours. Many Christians become disillusioned with the Christian life because they see these battles and watch people fall in them and wonder how they can overcome. You shouldn't worry about overcoming the battles, for even if you lose it is not your battle. In the LORD's battle people will fall, but you must not become disillusioned.

What is the answer to keep from making the LORD's battle yours? The answer is to do what you are supposed to do. Stay focused on doing right, for that is your responsibility. Leave the victory up to God, and you do what you are supposed to do. You need to keep soul winning, doing right, and walking with God, and you will find that the LORD is very capable of fighting and winning His own battles. If you will stay focused on fulfilling your responsibilities, then you will not have to carry fear and disillusionment in your life. Your life can be free from these if you will not make the LORD's battles yours.

When

And When

2 Chronicles 9:1

"And when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon, she came to prove Solomon with hard questions at Jerusalem, with a very great company, and camels that bare spices, and gold in abundance, and precious stones: and when she was come to Solomon, she communed with him of all that was in her heart."

Everybody has an "and when" time nearly every week of their life. Let me explain what I mean. The verse above says, "And when the queen of Sheba heard...she came to prove Solomon with hard questions..." The "and when" time is when people come to ask you questions. The queen of Sheba was one of those in Solomon's life who asked questions, and Solomon was ready for those questions. He was not going to allow his "and when" time to be a time when he didn't have an answer for those who needed answers. He studied to have an answer so he could better help people serve the LORD.

The Scriptures say in 1 Peter 3:15, "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" God expects His children to prepare themselves when their "and when" times comes. Nobody knows when this time will come for them, but they should make sure that they are ready when it does come. There are several times when you should be ready to give an answer when your "and when" time comes.

First, be ready to give an answer concerning the Gospel at all times. I have watched many so-called men of God on national television squander their "and when" time when they were asked whether Jesus Christ is the only way to Heaven. Every day of your life you will have a chance to answer the "and when" question concerning the Gospel. Always be ready to give an answer to those who need the answer concerning their eternity.

Second, be ready to give an answer concerning the Word of God. In life you will find people who will want to ask you hard questions concerning the Scriptures, and when that time comes you should be ready to answer them. The best way to be ready when your "and when" time comes concerning the Scriptures is to daily study the Scriptures so that you will know how to answer every question that comes your way.

Third, be ready to give an answer concerning current issues. One of the troubling things I have seen in Christianity is how little people know about current issues. I can certainly understand someone going through an emergency situation in their life not knowing current issues, but as a principle you should know what is going on so you can give an answer when asked. Don't allow your "and when" time concerning current issues to be a time when you don't have an answer.

Last, be ready to give an answer about questions concerning life. Your life should be a constant classroom where you continually improve your knowledge about every area of life so you can give an answer when asked. Many people won't learn because they don't care about something, and that is unacceptable. You should always be ready to give an answer. When your "and when" time comes concerning questions of life, be knowledgeable so you can give an answer.

We all admire Solomon for having the answers to the questions he was asked, but you should also have the answers like he did. He had to work and study to have the answers, which means you will have to do the same. Use your "and when" times to help people come closer to Christ and salvation by having an answer for them when they ask you those hard questions. When you give an answer to the hard questions, you will gain their respect and attention, which will allow you to give them an answer concerning salvation.

Separating

Separating Yourself From the Crowd

2 Chronicles 6:8

"But the LORD said to David my father, Forasmuch as it was in thine heart to build an house for my name, thou didst well in that it was in thine heart:"

One thing many people try to do is to make themselves different from the crowd. Most people simply don't want to blend into the crowd. You can walk through a public place and see that many people have weird and outlandish hair and dress styles to separate themselves from the crowd. Many sports figures want to separate from the crowd and strive to be the best athlete. People in workplaces desire to separate them from the crowd so they can move up the executive ladder. Many people have a desire to be different from the crowd.

Especially, when it comes to God, you should never want to be one of the crowd. When it comes to God you should desire to separate yourself from the crowd. David was successful at separating himself from the crowd. When God looked for someone to become king after Saul sinned, David separated himself from the crowd and was chosen by God. You can see in the verse above that he separated himself from the crowd by desiring to build a house for God. Was he the only one who desired to build a house for God? I don't know because the Scriptures don't say, but I seriously doubt that he was the only one.

So, what was it that caused David to be separated from the crowd? I believe the thing that separated David from everyone else was his heart. Twice God specifically mentions David's heart as the thing that separated him from the crowd. When he was chosen to be king above his brethren, it was his heart that separated him from the others. When it came to building a house for God, it was David's heart that God honored in allowing his son to build a house for Him. It wasn't his talent that separated him, but his heart. It wasn't his looks that separated him, but his heart. The heart of David separated him from the crowd in the sight of God.

If you want to be separated from the crowd, then you need to work on your heart. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "...for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart." God shows us specifically in this verse that the heart is what will separate you from everyone else. We often hear the importance of production, and I believe that is important, but the heart is what separates you from the crowd in the sight of God. If you would spend as much time working on your heart as you do in trying to be successful in every other area, I truly believe you would be able to separate yourself from the crowd.

Let me ask you, is the sincerity of your heart different than everyone else? Is the desire of your heart to please God different than everyone else? Christian, you can work on the outward appearance to impress everyone, but you will fail at impressing God. God delights in the person whose heart is tender and contrite towards Him. Until you come to the point where you forget about trying to impress man, then you will never separate yourself from the crowd. If you will have the type of heart that solely wants to please God, then you will be able to separate yourself from the crowd.