The Root

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The Root of All Dysfunction

Jeremiah 7:18

"The children gather wood, and the fathers kindle the fire, and the women knead their dough, to make cakes to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink offerings unto other gods, that they may provoke me to anger."

Years ago cars used to have a part called the distributor cap. The distributor cap was the place where the spark plug wires would connect so that you could get spark to fire the engine. Whenever changing the distributor cap, it was important that you get the spark plug wires in their proper order. If you placed them in wrong order, then your car would misfire and often times not start.

I have always been one to do as much work on my car as possible so that I can save money. The first car that I owned was due for a tuneup, and I had this bright idea to do the work myself. When I changed the distributor cap, I didn't pay as close attention as I should have to the alignment of the spark plug wires. When I tried to start the engine, it wouldn't start. After trying for a while to figure out the problem, I asked my father what I did wrong. He came and looked at the placement of the spark plug wires on the distributor cap and noticed that I placed them in the wrong order which caused the car to misfire. Two wires were not where they should have been. Two wires caused the whole car not to run properly.

Most of life's problems are created when we take things out of their proper order. You will notice in the verse above that one of the problems was that the children were leading the fathers. Notice that the children gathered the wood. In other words, they were leading their fathers instead of the fathers leading the children. Most of the problems that Israel faced were when they got things out of God's divine order.

Christian, one of the things Satan constantly tries to get us to do is to take God's order and rearrange it to fit our desires. Satan knows that a dysfunctional society is caused by taking things out of God's divine order. If he can get the Christian to ignore God's diving order, then he can cause the Christian to live a dysfunctional life.

For instance, God's divine order for the home is that the man is to be the head of the home, the wife is to submit to her husband, and the children are to obey their parents. However, when you look at society, you will notice that they have fought against this order. When the wife will not submit to her husband, then she causes the home to be dysfunctional. When the husband won't lead like he should, then he forces his wife to lead, thus creating a dysfunctional home. When the parents follow their children instead of leading them, then the result will be a dysfunctional home. The only way to avoid having a dysfunctional home is to keep God's divine order.

Furthermore, God's divine order for finances is to first pay your tithe, then your bills, then purchase your needs and if anything is leftover, then you can purchase your wants. One of the reasons our society is so dysfunctional in the financial realm is because we have not followed God's divine order. We have spent lavishly on wants and desires, ignoring the bills that would eventually come due, which resulted in a financial meltdown. You cannot avoid financial dysfunction when you mess with God's divine order of finances.

Space won't allow me to go into every divine order that God has for our lives; however, you must be careful about keeping God's divine order in every aspect of your life. If you want your life to be functional and to run smoothly, the only way this will happen is to follow the order that God has set up. Following God's divine order always leads to a happy and functional life.

Five things

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Five Things Every Child Should Learn

Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Have you ever noticed that your children didn't come with an instruction manual? It would be nice when a child is born if the instruction manual on how to train them was attached. Many parents would love for that to be the case. However, God did give us an instruction manual for every child, and that is the Word of God. The verse above commands us to train our children in the right way, but what is the right way? When you read the preceding verses, God gives us instructions on what we should train our children to do.

First, train your children in the importance of protecting their name. Verse 1 says, "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches,..." Your child needs to learn that once they lose their good name it will be hard to recover it. One of the most valuable commodities we are given is a good name. Therefore, we should be sure to train our children to keep it good. Train them in the importance of keeping a good name in their finances and in society. Both of these areas are important in the keeping of a good name.

Second, train your children the importance of looking ahead. Verse 3 says, "A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself:..." One of the greatest things you can teach your children is how to determine how something will most likely turn out. Literally, this is teaching your children how to make decisions. Most children are never taught this, and because they are never taught this they end up making tragic decisions as adults. Teach your children how to make decisions by principle. Teach them the importance of every decision and that they should not be based upon immediate results or satisfaction, but they should be based upon future implications.

Third, train your children in the importance of keeping a proper perspective of themselves. Verse 4 says, "By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life." You will notice that being humble will help your child to succeed in life. Never allow your children to think highly of themselves. One way to do this is when you compliment them on their physical features, only do so by reminding them that God made them that way. Furthermore, compliment them when they do right, but discipline them when they do wrong. This will help them to realize they are still human.

Fourth, train your children in the importance of keeping God in proper perspective. Verse 4 talks about having the fear of God. Your children need to have a healthy fear of God. They need to learn that God's power can punish them if they do wrong, but also that His power can help them in every area of life. If your children will have a proper fear of God, then they will certainly serve Him.

Last, train your children that an uncontrolled life leads to heartache. Verse 5 says, "Thorns and snares are in the way of the froward:..." Too many children see the fun side of sin, but they never see the heartache that sin causes. The best way to teach your children the heartache of sin is to bring them with you as you serve God. When they see the lives that are broken because of sin, then they learn first hand that an uncontrolled life leads to heartache.

Training children will never be an easy task. Certainly each child will need training that is unique to them. However, every child needs to learn these five things. If they will learn these five principles, then all other areas of training will be easier.

You Must

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Two Things You Must Teach Your Children

Isaiah 7:16

"For before the child shall know to refuse the evil, and choose the good, the land that thou abhorrest shall be forsaken of both her kings."

Parents are constantly looking for child-rearing tips that will help their children to turn out right. Often parents go to Christian authors and read their books on rearing children. I must say that this is not a bad thing to do. However, if I were to tell you that I have a tip from Someone Who has a perfect child, then you would certainly be interested in knowing His tips. Well, I do have a tip from Someone Who has a perfect child, and that is God. We often forget that God the Father gave us tips by showing how His Son, Jesus Christ was reared. Though Jesus was the Son of God, we must realize that He took on the robe of flesh and had to overcome everything that you and I have to overcome. These two tips that God gave us are a must for every child to learn.

The first thing you must teach your child is how to refuse evil. The verse above says, "For before the child shall know to refuse the evil,..." Notice that Jesus was taught to refuse evil. When teaching children to refuse evil, they will have to learn how to stand. To refuse something means they were offered something. That means a child is going to have to learn to say, "No" when they are offered something wrong. This means that they will have to learn to stand on their own and not run with the crowd. Until your child learns to stand on their own, they will never learn to refuse evil.

Moreover, your child will have to learn how to separate. One of the reasons it is important for parents to live a separated life is so that they can teach their children how to separate from the wrong crowd. If parents won't live a separated life, then the children certainly are not going to separate from evil when it is offered.

Furthermore, your child will have to learn to take ridicule. When someone is offered evil, and when they refuse that evil, you can rest assured that they will be ridiculed. Part of parenting is building the self-confidence of your child enough so that when ridicule comes they are not intimidated. Only those who lack self-confidence will be affected by ridicule. You must be sure to build your child's self-confidence if you want them to refuse evil in the midst of ridicule.

However, the second thing that your child must learn is how to choose the good. Not only did Jesus know how to refuse evil, but He also knew how to choose good. This means that parents will have to teach their children what is good. The best way to teach your child not to do bad is to teach them good and allow them to experience the good.

Moreover, you will have to teach your children decision-making principles. Your children need to learn how to choose between two good things. Sometimes children are not faced with making a decision between bad and good, but sometimes they must choose between two good things. You must learn to teach them that the good they must choose is the good that God wants the most. There is always good, better and best in every decision. Teach your child that they must look at the future of each decision to determine what is best and scripturally correct.

When children learn to choose between good and evil, then they will have a better chance of doing right their entire life. Parents must not make every decision for their children, but they must learn to teach their children how to make decisions for themselves. If they are taught to make these decisions under your supervision, then when you are gone you have a better chance that they will continue to make the same decisions.

Formula

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A Simple Formula to Enjoy Life

Ecclesiastes 9:8

"Let thy garments be always white; and let thy head lack no ointment."

Everybody wants to enjoy life. One of the pursuits of most people is to find a way to enjoy life. Of course, the world looks for enjoyment in things, yet God shows that enjoyment comes from actions and direction. For instance, the world thinks having money will cause them to enjoy life, but money cannot bring enjoyment. The book of Ecclesiastes is about Solomon looking to find the formula to enjoying life. Finally, at the end of his life, he realized what will cause a person to enjoy life.

First, living right will help you to enjoy life. The verse above says, "Let thy garments be always white:..." Living right will help you to enjoy life because it doesn't leave you with regrets. If you will realize that there is always a tomorrow in which you will have to live with the consequences of today's actions, then you will realize that living right is the best way to live. You will never enjoy life when you carry regrets from yesterday's actions. If you will live right, you will find that tomorrow can be filled with good memories from yesterday. Living right doesn't take from life, but living right gives to your life. If you want to enjoy life, then you must start by living right.

Second, enjoying your marriage will help you to enjoy life. Marriage is a big part of life. When a person gets married they will either endure it or enjoy it. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun." Don't just exist in your marriage, but learn to enjoy your marriage. Make your spouse your best friend. I have learned that if your spouse is your best friend, then you will want to enjoy the pleasures of life together. Too many couples do things apart when they should be doing things together. Too many couples run around with their "buddies" instead of making their spouse the one with whom they do everything. Christian, you will never enjoy life to its fullest until you make your marriage what it should be.

Third, if you want to enjoy life, then give your best effort in all that you do. Verse 10 says, "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." Again, this goes back to having regrets when you get older. I have watched many people wish that they would have given a better effort in life. One of the best ways to keep from regrets is to give your best effort within everything you do. When you know you have done your best, then you will never look back with the regrets, or wonder "What if?"

Last, if you want to enjoy life then serve God. Ecclesiastes 12:13 says, "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." You will never enjoy life without God being the center of your life. You were made to serve God. Therefore, life will never be enjoyed without you fulfilling what you were made to do which is serve God.

Too many people make life complicated. One of the great things about God is that He makes life uncomplicated. Thus, you have this little formula for enjoying life. Though this formula may seem too simple, you will find that with this formula your life will be enjoyable.

Parenting

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Parenting as a Parent

Job 39:13-15

"Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peacocks? or wings and feathers unto the ostrich? Which leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust, And forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them."

Can you imagine such a thing as a parent leaving their child to make it on their own? These verses say that the ostrich buries her eggs in the earth and then leaves them. As bad as this may sound, many parents make the same mistake as the ostrich by leaving their children for society to rear. This is a tragedy! The greatest responsibility that a parent has is to be a parent to their children. It is highly important that as a parent you don't leave the rearing of your children to society, but that you take responsibility and be a parent who knows at least these five things about your children.

First, know what your children do at church. This may seem strange, but just because they are at church doesn't always mean they are safe. For years I have watched with amazement parents who let their children run the church property without any supervision. Let me warn you that the wrong people can take advantage of trusting parents at a church. You should never let your children run the church property without you knowing where they are. Furthermore, you should always know what your children are doing at church. Many children get themselves into trouble because their parents don't keep a watchful eye on them. Know which children they are playing with and where they are going at all times.

Second, know every friend your child has. Your child is not wise enough to choose their own friends. Just because someone calls themselves a Christian doesn't make their children someone with whom your children should run. Part of parenting is teaching your children how to choose the right friends. You teach them by knowing yourself who they call their friends. If they have someone as a friend who is questionable, then you would be wise to tell your child to be kind to that person, but don't play with them.

Third, know where your children are at all times. Before your child leaves your house to go play, you need to ask them where they will be. Then, every once in a while you need to show up unannounced to be sure they are at the right place. You may think this is going too far, but you won't think that when you find out that your child has deceived you and has gone to a place of which you disapprove. Calling them on a cell phone is not the same as knowing where they are. You need to physically see where they are with your own eyes.

Fourth, know what your children are into. You need to know the music that your children listen to by listening to their music playing device yourself. Just because it says its Christian music doesn't make it Christian. Many a young person has fooled their parents by having rock music titled as Christian music. A parent should never let their child on the internet without their supervision. Likewise, a parent should know what is in their child's bedroom. You should periodically search your child's bedroom without them knowing it. You are a parent, and it is your responsibility to know everything about your child.

Last, know what is influencing your children. You need to know what they are being taught at school. Never trust the public or Christian school to teach the right things. You need to know EVERYTHING that they are being taught. If a school ever tells your child not to tell you what they are being taught, get them out of that school immediately! Also, know what they are being taught in the church programs. These influences should agree with the Scriptures, and anything that influences them for wrong should be dealt with in a proper manner.

You only have one chance to help your children turn out right. Your goal is not to be your child's friend, but to be the parent they need. You will eventually become their friend if you will properly parent them.