Parenting

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Parenting as a Parent

Job 39:13-15

"Gavest thou the goodly wings unto the peacocks? or wings and feathers unto the ostrich? Which leaveth her eggs in the earth, and warmeth them in dust, And forgetteth that the foot may crush them, or that the wild beast may break them."

Can you imagine such a thing as a parent leaving their child to make it on their own? These verses say that the ostrich buries her eggs in the earth and then leaves them. As bad as this may sound, many parents make the same mistake as the ostrich by leaving their children for society to rear. This is a tragedy! The greatest responsibility that a parent has is to be a parent to their children. It is highly important that as a parent you don't leave the rearing of your children to society, but that you take responsibility and be a parent who knows at least these five things about your children.

First, know what your children do at church. This may seem strange, but just because they are at church doesn't always mean they are safe. For years I have watched with amazement parents who let their children run the church property without any supervision. Let me warn you that the wrong people can take advantage of trusting parents at a church. You should never let your children run the church property without you knowing where they are. Furthermore, you should always know what your children are doing at church. Many children get themselves into trouble because their parents don't keep a watchful eye on them. Know which children they are playing with and where they are going at all times.

Second, know every friend your child has. Your child is not wise enough to choose their own friends. Just because someone calls themselves a Christian doesn't make their children someone with whom your children should run. Part of parenting is teaching your children how to choose the right friends. You teach them by knowing yourself who they call their friends. If they have someone as a friend who is questionable, then you would be wise to tell your child to be kind to that person, but don't play with them.

Third, know where your children are at all times. Before your child leaves your house to go play, you need to ask them where they will be. Then, every once in a while you need to show up unannounced to be sure they are at the right place. You may think this is going too far, but you won't think that when you find out that your child has deceived you and has gone to a place of which you disapprove. Calling them on a cell phone is not the same as knowing where they are. You need to physically see where they are with your own eyes.

Fourth, know what your children are into. You need to know the music that your children listen to by listening to their music playing device yourself. Just because it says its Christian music doesn't make it Christian. Many a young person has fooled their parents by having rock music titled as Christian music. A parent should never let their child on the internet without their supervision. Likewise, a parent should know what is in their child's bedroom. You should periodically search your child's bedroom without them knowing it. You are a parent, and it is your responsibility to know everything about your child.

Last, know what is influencing your children. You need to know what they are being taught at school. Never trust the public or Christian school to teach the right things. You need to know EVERYTHING that they are being taught. If a school ever tells your child not to tell you what they are being taught, get them out of that school immediately! Also, know what they are being taught in the church programs. These influences should agree with the Scriptures, and anything that influences them for wrong should be dealt with in a proper manner.

You only have one chance to help your children turn out right. Your goal is not to be your child's friend, but to be the parent they need. You will eventually become their friend if you will properly parent them.

Bad Day

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Having a Bad Day

Job 3:1

"After this opened Job his mouth, and cursed his day."

When you talk about someone having a bad day, certainly Job qualified. In one day he lost his wealth, transportation, job, children, health, friends, and a supportive wife. After seeing all that he lost, you can see why he would say he was having a bad day. That is why he cursed his day. Yet, one of the mistakes that Job made was he looked at what he lost instead of looking at what he still had. He still had his wife. Though she was not the most supportive wife at the point of his calamity, he still had her. God could have taken his wife away from Him, but Job was salvaged of losing the love of his life. He still had four servants who were still alive. When we read about each loss, there was one servant who escaped each tragedy. He still had four friends. Yes, these friends were not acting like friends, but they at least came to see him for the right reason. Best of all, he still had his God and salvation. Though Job lost plenty, he did not lose all.

Everybody will have a bad day here and there. Some days are certainly worse than others. The sad part is many make the same mistake that Job made in that they look at what they lost and not at what they were able to keep. In all tragedy, we must realize that we don't deserve anything, so anything we keep is a blessing. When tragedy comes your way, you must force yourself to look at what you do have. Two things that tragedy can never take from you is your salvation and God. As bad as your day may be, if you are saved you will always be saved. Yes, we sometimes look at how bad it is, but if you are saved you are still on your way to Heaven. Not only do you have your salvation, but God is still with you. What better presence to have in hard times than the presence of God. You are promised in the Scriptures that He will never leave you. Though times may be tough, the presence of God is still there for you. If the only things you keep are your salvation and the presence of God, then your day is not as bad as it may seem. Sure, tragedy can hurt deeply, but the God Who is the healer of hurts is still there for you and wants to help you through your tragedy.

Moreover, pray when you are having a bad day. God wants you to come to Him when you are having a bad day. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." Christian, there is someone Who truly cares about what you are going through, and that person is God. He wants you to come to Him and throw your hurts and tragedies at His feet. He wants you to come to Him and tell Him how you feel. God is the One Who is willing to listen to you pour your heart out. Though mankind may not want to hear how bad your day is, God wants you to come to Him and tell Him about your day. He wants to comfort you, but He cannot give comfort if you don't pour your burdens at His feet.

Finally, rest in the promises of the Saviour when you are having a bad day. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Christian, trust God that what you are going through is for good. Remember that 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." However bad your day may seem, God promised that you have the strength to make it through your day.

So, you're having a bad day? Remember that even in the midst of a bad day there is still some good at which you can look. When your day seems to be bad, stop and force yourself to look at the good in that day. You will find that though your day may have some bad elements to it, you still have plenty for which you can praise the LORD. Take your bad day and turn it into a good day by looking at what you still have.

Sleepless

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Dealing with Sleepless Nights

Esther 6:1

"On that night could not the king sleep, and he commanded to bring the book of records of the chronicles; and they were read before the king."

There is nothing worse than trying to get a full nights rest and not being able to sleep. If you are like me, when I go to bed I am usually exhausted from a full day's work. Sleep is important because it allows your body to get strength to help you through another day. The lack of sleep can adversely affect your attitude, health, production, mental sharpness, and outlook on your day and life. It is important that you get the sleep that your body needs. However, there are times when your mind is so busy that you will find it hard to sleep. When you find it hard to sleep, then let God's advice help you to get sleep.

First, ask God to give you sleep. Psalm 127:2 says, "It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep." When I am especially tired and know that I don't have as many hours to sleep as usual, I will ask God to help me sleep and to give me the strength of a full nights rest. There is nothing wrong with you asking God to help you sleep because there is nothing sinful about sleeping. If God gives His beloved sleep, then you would be wise to ask Him to help you sleep before you run to the doctor to get a sleeping pill. The best sleeping pill is God.

Second, work hard. Ecclesiastes 5:12 says, "The sleep of a labouring man is sweet, whether he eat little or much: but the abundance of the rich will not suffer him to sleep." The harder you work, the easier it is to sleep. The more you pack into your day, the better chance you will have of sleeping at night. One of the biggest reasons people have problems sleeping is because they have done nothing to get tired during the day. The harder you work the easier you will find it is to sleep.

Third, read books when you can't sleep. In the verse above, when the king couldn't sleep he read books. Instead of turning on the television when you can't sleep, pick up a book and start reading. The reason reading will help you sleep is because reading works the mind and eyes. If you will read for a while, you will find yourself getting sleepy, thus being able to get the sleep you need.

Fourth, keep a calm mind before you go to sleep. Daniel 2:1 says, "And in the second year of the reign of Nebuchadnezzar Nebuchadnezzar dreamed dreams, wherewith his spirit was troubled, and his sleep brake from him." You will notice Nebuchadnezzar could not sleep because his spirit was troubled. In other words, you need your spirit to be calm to sleep well. You will find it hard to have a calm spirit if you do heavy work right before going to bed. Tone down your work a couple of hours before you go to bed to help calm your spirit so you can get some good sleep.

Last, use your sleepless nights to pray. Daniel 6:18 says, "Then the king went to his palace, and passed the night fasting: neither were instruments of musick brought before him: and his sleep went from him." When everything above has failed to put you to sleep, then use that time to pray. Maybe the reason God won't let you sleep is because He wants you to spend some time with Him. I have found that many great prayers have been answered because of sleepless nights. If you can't get to sleep past midnight, then use the remainder of the night to pray.

Trowel

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A Trowel and a Spear

Nehemiah 4:21

"So we laboured in the work: and half of them held the spears from the rising of the morning till the stars appeared."

Anytime you attempt to do a great work for God, you can rest assured that attacks will come your way. Nehemiah experience this when he tried to build the walls around Jerusalem. The enemies threatened that they would come by force and tear down the wall. Apparently, the attacks became so fierce that Nehemiah felt it was needed for them to keep their weapons by them while they built the wall. Though they had to fight, they never lost their purpose of why they had to fight, and that purpose was so they could build the walls.

Whether you are trying to do God's will for your life, or you are attempting to build lives, you can be assured that opposition will come. If you don't have any opposition with what you are doing for the LORD, then I would advise you to be sure that what you are doing is actually what the LORD wants you to do. Throughout the Scriptures we read that those who set out to do the LORD's work faced opposition. Even Jesus Himself faced opposition in His ministry.

The reason you need both trowel and spear in the LORD's work is because you must fight and build at the same time. You will never be successful in the LORD's work without building. You must always remember that the LORD's work is mainly about building lives. When you attempt to build lives, the Devil will fight against you. If you are building lives through teaching a Sunday school class, then you will face opposition. When you try to build lives through a bus route, then you will face opposition. When a pastor tries to build lives through the church he pastors, he can be assured that he will face opposition. You must build, but you will have to fight against those things that try to keep you from building lives.

Let me make this clear, the spear is to be used in the ministry. There are many in Christianity today who avoid fighting because they just want to get along with everyone. If you are going to stay right in your stance with truth, then you will have battles that you must fight. You cannot be afraid of fighting if you are going to be successful in building lives.

Furthermore, the purpose of the spear is to keep the trowel moving. You must always stay focused on the purpose of why you must fight battles, that purpose is to build lives. You should not fight because of personality conflicts, but you should only fight to keep the faith that builds pure lives. If something doesn't affect the faith, then I should not get involved in that battle.

Let me make this clear, if the spear is not used, then you will lose the use of the trowel. Both spear and trowel are necessary to build lives. Likewise, if the trowel is not used, then the spear will destroy lives. The spear and the trowel balance each other. The spear used alone hurts and destroys. Likewise, the trowel used alone will lead to compromise. They both must be used together.

When both trowel and spear are used, then lives will be built to their greatest potential. Always remember that using the spear to fight battles is for the sole purpose of building lives. Whatever would hinder you from building lives must be fought against. Be sure that your Christian life is equipped with trowel and spear so that you can build the lives that God intends for you to build.