Baptist City Blog

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The Friendship Test

2 Samuel 9:1

"And David said, Is there yet any that is left of the house of Saul, that I may shew him kindness for Jonathan's sake?"

One of the greatest assets in life is friendship. No doubt everyone wants to have friends. Even God desires friends, that is why He called Abraham, "the Friend of God." Because we were created in God's image, and because God desires to have friends, then that means God created you with the desire to have friends. No doubt, one of the greatest influences on a person's life is their friends.

According to the Scriptures, Saul's son, Jonathan, was David's dearest friend. When you read the story of their friendship, their friendship almost made them as close as brothers. Jonathan proved his friendship by risking his life to save David. These two men were the ideal pattern of friendship. In the verse above, you find that even though Jonathan was dead, David still honored his friendship by showing kindness to one of Jonathan's sons. However, in the verse above, I believe you will find the true test of friendship.

First, friendship is for your lifetime. It is interesting that though Jonathan was dead, David still honored his friend. David didn't end his friendship when Jonathan died. David realized that friendship was based on his lifetime and not the lifetime of his friend. When you decide to be a friend to someone, you should understand that true friendship will cover your lifetime. Even if your friend has passed away, you are to continue to honor your friendship with them for the rest of your life. This is important to understand before we go on to the rest of the friendship test.

Second, friendship is about what you can put into it. I fear that too many people choose someone to be their friend for what they can get out of it. That is not true friendship! In fact, in a true friendship you don't look for the other person to do anything for you. This is why many people get angry with someone whom they call their friend. They get upset because their friend never does anything for them. Friendship should never be about what you get out of it, but what you can put into it. True friendship is about what you can do for them and not what they can do for you.

Third, death is the greatest test of friendship. Though Jonathan was dead, David still honored the desires of his friend. Though Jonathan was dead, David still honored the promises he made to his friend. You are not a true friend to someone when you stop honoring their desires and promises once they die. I think of Dr. Jack Hyles, my good friend and pastor who was no doubt one of the greatest preachers of my generation. Many people called Dr. Hyles their friend, and yet now that he has died many have not honored what he preached and that for which he stood. These were not friends at all, they were opportunists. The true friend will continue to honor the desires and promises of their friend even after their death.

Last, don't wait to show your appreciation. If you have a true friend, then don't wait until they die to start honoring them. It would be good for you to periodically do something for your friends. Honoring your friend when they are dead does them no good. You should honor them when they are alive. If you have not done anything to honor your friends, then you are a poor friend.

Do you pass the friendship test? If not, then start working on being a good friend to your friends. If you did pass the test, then continue to work on being a better friend to your friends. One day you will grow old, and when you are old, how you treated your friends will be revealed. Be good to your friends at all times, for they are the ones who stand with you when nobody else does.

Four excellent sermons for the week of 06/05/11 that are well worth the time to listen are now up at www.baptist-city.com.

Click here to read the Old Paths Journal.

Lay Down Your Sword

2 Samuel 2:26

"Then Abner called to Joab, and said, Shall the sword devour for ever? knowest thou not that it will be bitterness in the latter end? how long shall it be then, ere thou bid the people return from following their brethren?"

The story in the verse above happened after Saul was killed. There was a civil war between the men of Saul and David's men. There was a group of people in Israel who were still loyal to Saul and would not allow David to be their king. Even though Israel knew that David was anointed to be king, Saul's loyalist wanted his son to take over the kingdom.

In the verse above, Abner realized that if they didn't end this war, that many more men would lose their lives for no reason. Abner asked the question, "Shall the sword devour for ever? knowest thou not that it will be bitterness in the latter end?" Abner realized that the end of the inner fighting would only lead to bitterness between the brethren. What Abner was saying was that it was time to lay down the sword and get along. They were not fighting over truth, but rather they were fighting over personality. Abner realized that the battle over personality was not a worthy battle.

There are times when Christians should fight. This devotional is not about getting along at any cost, but it is about learning to lay down the sword when the battle is over the wrong issues. When truth is being attacked, we should fight. When the validity of the Word of God is being attacked, we should fight. When the validity of the reality of Hell is attacked, we should fight. When anything is added to salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, then we should fight. Any time the doctrines of God's Word are attacked we should fight.

However, when Christians start fighting over preference, then it is time to lay down the sword. There are many preferences that we have in Christianity that are not worthy of a fight. For instance, you shouldn't fight over whether the platform should have carpeting or hard wood. That is complete preference. You shouldn't fight over which brand of song book the church should use, for that is preference. I could go on with this list, but I believe you know what is preference. Because we are so opinionated, if we are not careful, we will start fighting over preference which will lead to bitterness.

Furthermore, we should not fight over personalities. The only personality whom we should fight over is Jesus Christ. We should not fight over a man of God, for that is fleshly. You will often find that people will make the man of God the issue when he is not supposed to be the issue. Truth is always the issue. I have my own heroes whom I look to for an example to follow, but I should not fight with others who don't have the same feeling towards my heroes. Christians must be careful about fighting over personality and not truth. This will only lead to people becoming bitter towards each other.

There is a time to lay down the sword and stop fighting. When the battle is over preference and personality, then lay down the sword. When the battle is over truth, then pick up the sword and fight. When the battle is over truth, it will not lead to bitterness for truth will not bring bitterness, only happiness. When the battle is over the wrong issues, then the end of that battle will be bitterness. Be careful about fighting the wrong battles, and when you find yourself in a wrong battle then lay down your sword.

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Detrimental Decision Making

1 Samuel 25:13

"And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword. And they girded on every man his sword; and David also girded on his sword: and there went up after David about four hundred men; and two hundred abode by the stuff."

In the verse above, David nearly made a decision that would have scarred him for the rest of his life. David gathered his men to go to war against Nabal because of how he was treated. If it wasn't for the wife of Nabal, David would have regretted this horrible act. The whole reason why David almost made a detrimental decision was because he didn't allow principle to make his decision.

It is so easy to forsake principles when making decisions. Every day you are faced with different situations and people who can bait you into making unprincipled decisions that can be detrimental to your future success and walk with God. There are several things that can lead to detrimental decisions that you must avoid.

First, never let situations decide your actions. Situations change, and anything that changes is not a stable measuring stick by which to make decisions. If a situation is bad, you can make a spur of the moment decision that could make the situation worse. You should never allow the situation to determine your actions. For instance, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not allow their situation to make their decision. Their situation would have told them to bow down to the idol, but they chose to follow principle in making their decision which kept them right with God. Just because a decision may make your situation better at the moment doesn't make it right. You must avoid allowing a situation to determine what you will do.

Second, don't let emotions decide your actions. Emotions will lead you into trouble. Any time you make a decision you must take your emotions out of the equation. In the story above, David allowed his emotions to get involved in his decisions which would have been detrimental to the rest of his life. The fact that you feel you have been mistreated should not determine what your actions are going to be. Take your emotions out when deciding what to do.

Third, don't let others decide your actions. What others do to you should not determine what you are going to do to them. You should do right whether or not others do right. Often you must make a decision that goes against what others have done to you. Others can bait you into a decision that you will regret for the rest of your life.

Last, always let principles decide your actions. Principles don't make decisions based on the situation, your emotions or what others have done to you. Principles make decisions based upon the Scriptures. You will always be safe when you let your Scriptural principles make decisions for you.

When principles make decisions for you then you only have to make a decision one time. When you allow situations, emotions and how others treat you to influence what you will do, then you must make a decision every time. You have a better chance of making detrimental decisions when you make more decisions. The fewer decisions you have to make the better chance you have of making right decisions. Let principles drive your decision making and you can avoid making detrimental decisions.

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Building a Following

1 Samuel 22:2

"And every one that was in distress, and every one that was in debt, and every one that was discontented, gathered themselves unto him; and he became a captain over them: and there were with him about four hundred men."

One of the greatest leaders in history is David. No doubt, when you measure leaders who had the greatest impact on a nation or the world, David would easily be on the top of the list. Yet, when you look at the beginnings of his rise to power, you see that he was not like the normal leader who catered to the elite to build his following. In fact, in the verse above, you find David's following was built through the down and outers. The elite of Israel had nothing to do with David. It was those whom nobody wanted that David chose to lead.

When building a following, a person would be wise to look at the example of David and do the same. Many of the great pastors whom I know have built their churches with the down and out of society. Don't get me wrong, the people in their churches are not second-class people. What I mean by this is that these great men reached many of their people when they were at a low point in their life.

Dr. Darrell Cox who pastors the Trinity Baptist Church in Mocksville, North Carolina, has built his church by reaching those who are in need. Every time I call him he seems to be on his way to a hospital visit to help someone in need. There are other times he will return my call after doing the funeral of someone in his area. Dr. Cox has often said that he has built his church through hospital visitation and funerals. Yet, when you go to his church you will see some of the greatest people on Earth who love their preacher immensely. The reason being is because he was there for them when nobody else would have anything to do with them.

In both David and Dr. Cox's cases, you will see that neither one was looking for a following, they were simply looking to help people. You should never look to build a following, but you should look to be a help to people. When you look to build a following, then you have ulterior motives to use these people for your own agenda. Great leaders don't use people for their own agenda, but instead seek to build people.

Furthermore, you should constantly look for ways to help those who are down and out. There are many people in your city who need someone to love them. There are people right now who life has given a bad hand and they could use someone like you to love them. There are people sitting in jail that could use someone to love them. There are people who are facing financial disaster who need someone to love them. There are people who are sitting in nursing homes who need someone to love them. There are people in hospital beds who need someone to love them. There are people who seem to never get the good end of life that need someone to love them.

Make it your ministry to find someone every day whom you can love. Find those who are the down and outers and love them where they are. When you help those whom nobody else will help, then you will find that you will have a following who will be loyal to you to the end. Every Sunday school teacher, bus worker and pastor should go after the down and outers, not to build a following, but to love some people who need to be loved. By doing this, you will build yourself a following.

What to Do After a Mistake

1 Samuel 12:19

"And all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto the LORD thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king."

The story above is about the children of Israel asking Samuel for a king. Up to this point in their history they were a theocracy. Because they desired to be like all the other nations around them, they asked Samuel to anoint a king to rule over them. God granted them their request, but also showed them His displeasure with their actions. When they saw how displeased God was with their requests, they asked Samuel to pray that God would not kill them. They understood they had made a grave mistake and wanted to right what they had done wrong. Samuel gave them some advice on what to do after their mistake that will also help you when you make mistakes.

First, admit your mistake. God had to bring His people to the point where they could see their mistake before He could help them any further. When you make a mistake or sin against God, admit it. Don't give excuses why you did the wrong, but simply admit that you did wrong. When you give excuses as to why you did wrong you are not yet admitting your guilt. You will not be able to move further in the process of getting right until you take full responsibility for your wrong by admitting it.

Second, immediately start doing right. Samuel said in verse 20, "Fear not: ye have done all this wickedness: yet turn not aside from following the LORD..." You can see that they were advised to do right. Many times people will spiritually beat themselves up trying to right the wrong and won't do anything until they feel they have punished themselves enough. Don't try to punish yourself, leave that up to God. What you need to do is immediately start doing right. Don't add to your mistake by making the greater mistake of not doing right.

Third, start serving the LORD. God continues to say in verse 20, "...but serve the LORD with all your heart;" Doing right is different from serving the LORD. Doing right isn't always serving the LORD. Serving the LORD means you get involved in serving others. The easiest way to make sure you keep doing right is to start serving the LORD in a ministry. Though you may have made a mistake or have sinned, you still need to serve the LORD. Find a ministry in your church where you can serve.

Last, put your heart into what you are doing. Don't just serve the LORD and do right in actions, but put your whole effort into doing these things. God is always impressed with the effort of the heart. When God sees you putting your whole heart into serving Him, then He is convinced that you are sorry for your mistake.

Christian, you will make mistakes and sin. Don't be guilty of adding to your sin or mistake by doing nothing, but follow Samuel's advice so you can move on. You can't undo what you have done, but you can move on and do greater things for God. If you will follow the steps written above, there are still great victories ahead even after mistakes.