Punishment

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The Need for Proper Punishment

 

Proverbs 29:15

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

One of the hardest things a parent or an authority has to do is to administer punishment. Any loving parent or authority will admit that they don't enjoy having to administer punishment when it is needed. However, without punishment a child will bring shame to those who care for them. You can either do the hard thing by punishing the child when they do wrong, or you can carry heartache for many years because you avoided the punishment.

True love will punish when a child does wrong. The reason is because punishment teaches. Notice in the verse above God says, "The rod and reproof give wisdom:..." The wisdom that punishment gives is that there are consequences in doing wrong. You cannot do wrong without paying the price. If you as a parent or authority choose not to administer the needed punishment, then you will suffer more embarrassment later.

Punishment that is just follows the rules by the letter of the law. Often you hear authority say that we need to love the one who wronged and try to restore them. To this I agree, but the best way to love the one who has done wrong is to punish them to the degree that the rules state. When an authority doesn't follow the rules of punishment they set up, then they are teaching the child that they can get away with doing wrong. This is not a good lesson to teach a child for this will embolden them to do wrong in a greater way the next time because you taught them that they can get away with it.

If you are an authority, let me beg you to properly administer the punishment that is prescribed when someone does wrong. It teaches the one who did the wrong that they will not be able to get away with disobedience. If you really want to restore someone, then the best way to restore them is to teach them that there are consequences to every action. No, it won't always be easy to administer punishment, but by doing the hard thing of punishing you are saving that person from heartache down the road.

Parents, you must also learn to have consequences for your children when they do wrong. If you let your children get away with doing wrong, then they will break your heart later in life. Be careful about trying to blame someone else for your child's wrong, for this teaches them that they can get away with sin. Even if someone did influence your child to do wrong, they still did wrong. By administering punishment, you are teaching your child that whether they were the instigator of the wrong or simply influenced to do wrong, that punishment always happens when they do wrong.

Love is tough at times. True love will teach followers that they cannot get away with wrong by properly punishing them. Always remember, if you let the follower skirt the rules of punishment, then you will embolden them to do worse the next time. Do the right thing by punishing according to the prescribed punishment and save them from greater punishment later on. It is better to be embarrassed now by having to go through the punishment that will end than to have to live with a life-long punishment. You can stop great heartache now by administering punishment is the "small" wrongs so they will learn that there are consequences to every action.

Awesome

Bro. Schaap preached a very powerful sermon. Most of the crowd was at the altar at the end.   Now an hour break with pizza for all!  Starts again at 9PM with skits and Kenny Baldwin preaching.

A Great Start

The 2011 Youth Conference is now officially underway. A trio and the youth choir opened with "About the Cross".   Bro. Schaap is now preaching the opening session.  Later Kenny Baldwin will be preaching.

There are two sessions. The current session will run to about 8:30. the second session starts at 9:00 and will run until about 11:00PM.

Settling

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Settling Marital Disputes

 

Song of Solomon 2:11

"For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;"

Marriage is a wonderful union to enjoy. One of the greatest blessings that God allowed mankind to enjoy is the blessing of marriage. However, because marriage consists of a sinful man and woman dwelling together, that means that there will be disagreements between them. Though there are disagreements, that does not mean that you still can't enjoy marriage. If you handle the disputes in a proper manner, then your marriage can still be happy and enjoyable.

In the verse above, the couple seemingly had a dispute. Notice the verse says, "...the winter is past,..." That is talking about a cold spell that they had in their marriage. In other words, though this couple was madly in love with each other, they still had disputes that they had to settle. Yet, you will notice that when the dispute was over that they were still in love with each other. The reason is because they settled their dispute in a right way. If you will handle your disputes with your spouse in a right way, then you can keep the love and passion fresh in your marriage.

When trying to settle a dispute in your marriage, don't attack the dignity of your spouse. In verse 9, the wife addressed her husband with dignity. You may have a disagreement with your spouse, but you don't have to attack their dignity. Anytime you attack the dignity of your spouse you will escalate the disagreement. The best way to allow your spouse to keep their dignity in a disagreement is to address them properly. Calling names will not allow them to keep their dignity.

Second, stay sweet during the dispute. The couple in this story kept the sweetness with each other during their dispute. Notice in verse 10 it says, "Rise up, my love, my fair one,..." Instead of being sour towards each other, they addressed each other with loving words which helped them to settle their dispute properly. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." If you will keep your tone down and talk to each other in a sweet and loving manner, then you will find it will be much easier to settle your disputes.

Third, once you settle the dispute, then put it in the past. Notice in the verse above they talk about the winter being past. In other words, when the cold spell of the dispute was over, they put it in the past and moved on. When you settle a dispute, you both must decide to never again bring that situation up. Leave your disputes in the past once you have settled them so that your marriage can become stronger.

The results of settling marital disputes in a right way is that there will be a renewed love and sweetness. In verse 12, this couple talked about the flowers appearing and the birds singing. Just like the air is fresh after a thunderstorm, if you settle your disputes in a proper way, you will find fresh air in your marriage that will allow it to be stronger, sweeter, and for you to be closer to your spouse.

2 Better than 1

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Two are Better Than One

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour."

One of the most important things a married couple needs to learn is that they are a team. A marriage that does not work as a team is a marriage that has problems. Two people going their own separate ways will cause serious marital problems. Therefore, it is important that each spouse works hard at becoming a team member.

In the verse above, God said that, "Two are better than one;..." When you look at this verse in context, you will see that God is talking about marriage. God was teaching the married couple that it will take work from both sides to have a successful marriage. This implies that both sides must be involved in the work to have a happy marriage. It cannot be one person trying to make the marriage happy while the other is passive and could care less. It must be both husband and wife working together for their marriage to experience the reward of happiness. God shows us in this verse that there are benefits for a couple who works together.

The first benefit is that when one falls, the other is there to pick them up. God says in verse 10, "For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow:..." It is important for married couples to realize that their spouse will not be perfect. Because they are not perfect, you must be willing to help them recover when they fall. Instead of couples throwing their failures at each other, a happy marriage is one that will help the other through their failures. Not only is helping your spouse to get up after failure a benefit of marriage, but it also means that you can keep each other from failing. If both husband and wife will work together, they can keep each other from failure more easily than doing it alone.

In verse 12, we find the second benefit of marriage is that two can fight battles better than one. God says, "And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him;..." Everyone will fight battles in life. When each face a battle, it is important that the married couple fight the battle together. When both work together through battles, then they have a easier time of overcoming the battle.

The final benefit of two working together is closeness. When a husband and wife work together as a team, they will discover a closeness that will bring each of them joy. You will always learn more about someone by working with them than by simply playing. In both benefits mentioned above, work is involved to accomplish the benefit. When the husband and wife work together, they will develop the closeness that they envisioned before marriage.

In your marriage, work hard at becoming a team. Don't be one who lets your spouse do all the work, but join together as a team to make your marriage what it ought to be. "Two are better than one..." so, stop trying to work your marriage alone and become a team player.