Baptist City Blog

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Building In-Law Relations

Exodus 18:2

"Then Jethro, Moses' father in law, took Zipporah, Moses' wife, after he had sent her back,"

One of the best in-law relationships that you find in the Scriptures is the relationship between Moses and Jethro, his father-in-law.  Moses' status among the Israelites and his busy schedule could have caused problems with Jethro, but we find that these two men got along very well.  When you study their relationship, you find several keys that helped them build a good relationship.

First, Jethro supported their marriage.  I don't know, and this is pure speculation, but it seems from the verse above that maybe Moses and his wife were having some marriage problems. The verse above states that Jethro sent his daughter back to Moses.  He realized that he needed to support their marriage and not be a wedge between his daughter and her husband, Moses.  If you want to build good relations with your in-laws, then you need to support their marriage.  Listen, you should never try to destroy the marriage of your children because you don't like who they married. You should do your best to support the marriage realizing that God's command is for them to stay married until death parts them.  If you become a wedge in your children's marriage, you could in essence be fighting against God's command for them to stay married.  You will do more to help your children by supporting their marriage than you will by fighting against your in-laws.

Second, be genuinely concerned about your in-laws.  Notice in verses 7-8, that Moses and Jethro were concerned how each were doing.  Don't just be concerned with your side of the family, but be concerned with the in-laws as well.  Being concerned with them will help you to build good relations with your in-laws.

Third, do spiritual acts together.  In verse 12, you see Jethro and Moses making a sacrifice together.  In other words, they were serving God together.  One of the best tools in building good relations with your in-laws is serving God together.  One of the things that has helped me to have a very good relationship with my in-laws is that we serve God together.  This gives us a common thing to talk about when we are together.  You would be wise to spend time serving God with your in-laws.

Fourth, be careful and wise when giving advice.  In the latter part of chapter 18, you will read that Jethro gave some good advice to Moses that helped him in his career. Let me be very forward and tell you that you should rarely give advice to your in-laws.  If they want your advice they will ask you.  Be stingy with your advice, and only give it when asked.  The only other time you should give advice is when its obvious that it will help them, but even then you would be wise to keep it to yourself. You don't want to be seen as someone who is meddling in your in-laws personal affairs.

Last, leave properly. In verse 27, Jethro left Moses properly.  Whenever you leave your in-laws, always strive to leave under good circumstances.  It should be that your in-laws were happy to see you and look forward to you coming back.

In-law relations can be good.  I thank God for my in-laws and the great relationship we have with each other.  When you have good relations with your in-laws, then you have built another block in the foundation of a great marriage.  Do everything in your power to have good relations with your in-laws.

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The LORD Shewed Him a Tree

Exodus 15:25

"And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them,"

In the verse above, we find the answer for Israel's murmuring.  When Israel found themselves without water, they began to murmur.  It is amazing that these people were just delivered from the hand of Pharaoh by going through the Red Sea on dry land, and yet they still murmured against God.  These people quickly forgot that God provided their deliverance and would provide water for them if they were patient. Yet, in their murmuring, God showed them a tree.  That tree was their deliverance from their problem and was the solution to their murmuring.

I am constantly amazed at how God's people murmur and complain as often as they do.  With all the blessings that God has given them, they still complain about what they feel is God's lack of provision for them.  Honestly, it's time that Christians take their eyes off themselves and realize that God has been very good to them. The answer to a Christian's dissatisfaction is the tree.  The tree is a reminder of Calvary.  The tree reminds us of the cross.  You see, if you will only look at the cross, you will find that your murmuring is unwarranted.  The answer to all of your dissatisfaction in life is the cross.  If you will look to the tree, you can quickly overcome your dissatisfaction and murmuring.

When you're dissatisfied with your church, look to the tree.  I know that your church isn't perfect, and I know that your pastor may not be doing everything right, but you are not perfect and doing everything right either.  The way to keep yourself from becoming dissatisfied with your church is to keep your eyes on Calvary.

When you're dissatisfied with your job, then look to the tree.  When you're dissatisfied with what you have, then look to the tree.  When your dissatisfied with a person, then look to the tree. The answer to your dissatisfaction with your possessions and people is Calvary.

When you're dissatisfied with your marriage, then look to the tree.  Complaining about your spouse and griping about what they don't do for you could be solved if you would take your eyes off yourself and place them on Calvary.  When you see the cross of Calvary, then you will realize how blessed you are in your marriage.

When you're dissatisfied with family, then look to the tree. Christian, family members will disappoint you, but Calvary is never disappointing.  Family members will let you down, but Calvary will never let you down.  Family members will often hurt you, but Calvary will never hurt you. The answer to your dissatisfaction with your family is looking to the tree.

When you're dissatisfied with your country, then look to the tree.  The answer for your country is Calvary.  If you will look to the tree and point others to that same tree, then you will find you can change what is going on in your country.

Calvary is the answer to your dissatisfaction. Calvary has a way of refocusing your viewpoint on what is really important.  Keep your eyes on the tree and you will continually be satisfied with life.

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Guilty Conscience

Genesis 42:21

"And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us."

In the story above, Joseph's brethren had come to buy corn in the land of Egypt. There was a great famine in the land, and the only country that seemed prepared for the famine was Egypt.  What Joseph's brethren did not know was that he was second in command in Egypt.  They did not know that they would have to deal with him.  When they came into his presence, he recognized them and accused them of being spies. What is amazing about this verse is that they immediately thought this was happening because of what they did to Joseph.  All of these years passed, and they were still carrying a guilty conscience about what they did to him.

Every action that you do leaves a mark on your conscience.  I like to illustrate it this way; whatever you do on your computer leaves a mark on the hard drive.  No matter how hard you try to erase those marks, they will always be there.  Likewise, no matter how hard you try to forget your actions, you will always have the marks of your actions on your conscience.  Everything you do is writing a mark on your conscience.

Not only does every action leave a mark on your conscience, but also every action has a way of coming back.  You may think that once you do your action that it is done, but what you don't understand is that it will eventually come back.  I have learned that those actions of which you are ashamed tend to come back at the most inopportune times.  You may feel that your actions are in the past, but the consequences of your actions will come back.

When you do wrong, you would be wise to immediately deal with it if you don't want to continually deal with a guilty conscience.  Wrong must be dealt with immediately.  If it is not dealt with immediately, then you will always be looking over your shoulder wondering when it will be found out. Instead of living with a guilty conscience, deal with it so you can have a clear conscience.

The best way to live life is to live in such a manner that you can face anybody at any time.  If you will do right, then you will never have to avoid people. If you do wrong and immediately get right with people, then you will not have to avoid those people whom you have wronged when you see them.  

There is nothing worse than having to plan your life to avoid people.  Live in such a manner that at any time you can come across the paths of people and be excited to see them.  If you live right, you can do this. If you do wrong and immediately get it right, you can look people in the eyes and know you are right.  But, if you harbor your wrong, you will always be looking over your shoulder wondering when people will find out.  Don't live your life that way, live it with a clear conscience.

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The Dreamer

Genesis 37:5

"And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more."

One of the great attributes about Joseph was that he was a dreamer.  As a young man he had dreams for the future. When you compare Joseph to his brethren, you will see that he had more initiative than they.  Maybe the reason Joseph's brothers did not like him was because he made them feel guilty about their lack of dreams.  Though Joseph's brothers did not like his dreams, it was his dreams that drove him through the hardships of life, and because he never gave up, he eventually experienced his dreams.

Everybody should have a dream.  One of the reasons I am concerned for this present generation is because of its lack of dreams.  When you ask the average person what they want to do in the future, most have no dreams to talk about.  If you have no dreams, then you will go nowhere. It is imperative that you start getting some dreams in your life.  It is imperative that you get a dream to drive you.  If you have no dream, then you will have nothing to drive you through the hardships of life.

When you do have dreams, it is important that you understand that everybody won't be excited about your dreams.  When Joseph told his brethren his dreams, they were jealous and outright hateful.  You must realize that your dream is exactly that, your dream.  Because it is your dream, and because your dream affects your life, most people will not be excited about your dreams for your life.

Furthermore, be careful to whom you choose to tell your dreams. Joseph told his dreams to his brethren only to experience their hatred.  When you have a dream, only tell your dreams to those who you know really want you to excel in life.  I have found that most of the time it is better to keep my dreams to myself.  Most people won't be as excited about my dreams as I am, therefore I must learn to keep them private until they come to fruition.

Moreover, don't let hardships dampen your dream.  Between the dream and the dream coming to reality, you will find hardships will try to kill your dream.  Don't let your hardships be a dream killer.  Instead, let your dreams be the motivating factor that drive you through your hardships.

Lastly, keep working towards your dream until it happens.  I have often said that I am living the dreams of my youth.  When I was a youth I dreamed about doing what I am doing now.  No matter what came my way, I continued to work towards my dream.  Christian, whatever you do, work towards your dream until it happens.

It is important that everyone becomes a dreamer.  Every successful person is a person who dreamed. Success doesn't happen by accident, it happens because someone had a dream.  Get a dream for yourself.  Make sure your dream is something that would make God happy, and then work towards making that dream reality.

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Mending Strained Relationships

Genesis 33:1

"And Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and unto the two handmaids."

Anytime you enter into a relationship with a person, you always have the chance of experiencing hurt. In fact, it doesn't matter how "perfect" your relationship with a person is, you will have times of hurt and disagreement with that person.  When this happens, you will find that your relationships will be strained.  At this point you must be careful not to allow that strained relationship to progress into a hated relationship.  If you don't deal with the cause of the strained relationship, then you could end up with a bitter relationship.  Life is too short to allow circumstances to strain relationships.  Whenever your relationship is strained with someone, quickly work to repair it so that you don't lose a good friendship.

Jacob and Esau certainly had a strained relationship.  Jacob deceived Esau so many times that their relationship as brothers was hurt.  In the verse above, you see that Jacob and Esau were about to meet each other again. Jacob thought that Esau was coming to get revenge, so he prepared himself to limit his casualties.  Yet, what is interesting is that Esau was coming to mend a strained relationship.  Though many times Esau gets no praise, he was the one who reached out when it should have been Jacob.  Because Esau reached out and tried to mend their strained relationship, it gave Jacob an opportunity to right his wrongs.

If you are going to mend a strained relationship, you must stop avoiding the person you have wronged.  As humans we tend to avoid being uncomfortable.  It is uncomfortable to have to face someone whom we have wronged, but if you are going to mend a strained relationship, then you will have to eventually face that person.  Avoiding the person in a strained relationship will do nothing to heal the hurts. Someone has to be willing to reach out and try to mend the relationship.

When you finally come face to face with the person with whom you have a strained relationship, then admit your guilt.  Yes, most likely there was wrong on both sides, but you must be the bigger person and admit your wrong whether or not they admit theirs.  Your goal is to mend a strained relationship, and you will never mend it until someone admits guilt.

Furthermore, after you have admitted your guilt, you should then try to do what you can to right your wrong. Again, let me remind you that it is not about what the other person does, it is about what you are trying to do. It is your responsibility to try to make right what you did wrong.  You will never be successful in mending a strained relationship unless you make your wrong right.

Next, to heal the hurt and further repair the strained relationship, give some gifts to that person.  I'm not saying you have to do it all at once, but find some things that person likes and periodically give them gifts.  It is amazing how you can change a person's perception of you when you give them gifts.

Last, remember that time is a great healer. As you follow the steps above, you will find over time that whatever caused the strained relationship will simply be a bump in the road of life.  Years down the road you both will look back at it and realize how insignificant it really was and will be thankful that you didn't allow it to ruin a good relationship.  Work the steps above and allow time to heal your strained relationship.

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Which Way Should I Go?

Genesis 24:27

"And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren."

Have you ever been at a point in your life when you didn't know which way to go? I can testify that I have been at that place many times.  There are times when you wish that God would audibly speak to you so you could make the right choice.  If you are like me, I really want to do right, and I don't want to make a decision that would ruin what the LORD is doing through my life.  No doubt, one of the hardest things to do in life is make a decision on which way you should go.

In Genesis 24, I find that God gives a guideline to help us in choosing which way to go.  The story is about Abraham's servant looking for a bride for Isaac.  Abraham gave him some guidelines for which he expected his servant to follow in finding a bride for Isaac.  In this story, the servant made three statements that will help us in deciding which way we should go when making decisions.

First, always choose the LORD's way. Notice the Scriptures says in the verse above, "I being in the way..."  This "way" was the LORD's way.  Whenever you must make a decision, always choose the LORD's way.  You may ask, "What is the LORD's way?" The LORD's way is found in the Scriptures.  The Scriptures are very clear in many areas as to what we should and should not do.  Whenever you must make a decision, you should first look to the Scriptures to find out what they say about your decision.  Many times you don't need to pray, for the Scriptures have already made clear what you should do.  When the Scriptures have already made clear what you should do, then you don't need to pray about it because God never changes His mind.  If you will walk in the way that the Scriptures command, then you will be happy with that way.

Second, when making decisions, always choose the right way.  The Scriptures say in verse 48, "And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's daughter unto his son." Notice the servant said, "...in the right way..." There are times in life when you must choose between two rights.  Sometimes either decision is right, and when this happens it makes it that much harder to make a decision.  When faced with a decision, always choose the way that is more conservative.  I rather error on the side of right than on the side of left.  When you must make a decision, be sure it always is more right.

Last, when making decisions, always choose the prosperous way.  It says in verse 56, "And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the LORD hath prospered my way..." The word "prospered" is talking about accomplishment.  When making a decision, not only must you choose the LORD's way, and the right way, but also choose the way of accomplishment.  Whichever decision will accomplish more right without leaving the LORD's way or the right way is the way you should go.  If the decision of accomplishment means you must leave the right way or the LORD's way, then don't choose the way of accomplishment.  Accomplishment should only be done while walking in the LORD's way and the right way.

These three guidelines will help you in choosing which way you should go. The next time you are faced with a decision of which way to go, apply these three principles and you will find the decision much easier to choose.

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A Double Life

Genesis 19:14

"And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law."

In the verse above, Lot found himself in a tough predicament. God warned Lot that He was going to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah.  Because these cities were going to be destroyed, and because Lot's family lived in these cities, God showed mercy upon him by allowing him the chance to bring his family out of the cities before their destruction.  Herein lies the problem, when Lot went to his daughters and sons-in-law, "...he seemed as one that mocked..." In other words, they looked at the life that he lived around them and compared it to how he lived when the preachers came to his house, and they thought it was a joke.  The reason they thought it was a joke was because his private life told a different story than his spiritual life. He was living a double life.

The true test of your Christianity is what your family says about you.  You may be able to fool everyone in your church, but your family sees you at your best and worst.  Your family sees what you try to hide from the church people.  Your family sees what television programs you watch.  Your family sees what websites you visit. Your family sees your attitude towards people when you are not around them.  Your family sees the true love of your life. They know whether or not you truly love the LORD.  You may be able to fool others, but you cannot fool your family.

Herein is the problem, if your private life does not match your public life, then you can be guaranteed to lose your family.  Christian, this is why you should be real.  This is why you should make the Christian life the real you.  You have children who are watching how you live, and they will more than likely copy what you do at home more than what you do in public.  Oh, don't get me wrong, there are some children who simply rebel against their parent's lifestyle, but you have a very little chance of your children turning out right if you don't make your private and public life the same.

Let me ask you, if I were to go to your family and ask them how good of a Christian you truly are, what would their answer be?  Would you be ashamed if they told me what you are truly like?  Better yet, if God sent His angels to your house and you had to go to your children like Lot did, would your children think that you are joking?  It is very important that you don't live a double life.  For the sake of your family you need to be a real Christian.  For the sake of your future grandkids, you need to be a real Christian.  For the sake of Christ, you need to be real.

Look at your life and see if you can find any area in which you are living a double life.  If you can find an area where you are living a double life, then work on changing that so that your family can see a person who is real and the same all the time.  When your family sees that you don't live a double life, then they will know that the Christian life is more than just lip service.  When they see it is more than lip service, then you will have a better chance of influencing them to live right themselves.

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The Key to Psalm 23

Psalm 23:4

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

No doubt, one of the most read psalms in the Scriptures is Psalm 23. Often by the bedside of one who is facing death, a pastor will read Psalm 23.  Many times when someone faces a serious surgery, their pastor will read Psalm 23.  Psalm 23 is regularly read at a funeral or grave side services.  It is often read because of the comfort it gives to those facing rough times.

We are reminded that God owns us when the Scriptures say, "The LORD is my shepherd..." We are also reminded that He is our provider in verse 1.  We are reminded that He is our peace in verse 2.  We are reminded that He guides us in verse 3.  We are reminded that He comforts us in verse 4.  We are reminded that He is our protecter in verse 5.  Again in verse 5, we are reminded that He is our power.  We are also reminded that He is good and merciful to us in verse 6.  The psalmist truly gives us a great list of what God is to us.

Yet, the key to this psalm is often missed.  Many times you would think that David was going through a good time when He wrote this, but that is not the case.  The key to this psalm is in verse 4 when the Scriptures say, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." It is interesting that David said all of these things about God when death's shadow was over him.  In other words, David was not going through the greatest time of His life, and yet he said all of these great things about God.

Let me paraphrase these verses a bit.  He was saying, though I face death God still owns me.  Though I face death, God is still providing for me.  Though I face death, God is giving me peace.  Though I face death, God is guiding me.  Though I face death, God is still comforting.  Though I face death, God is protecting me.  Though I face death, God will give me power.  Though I face death, God is still good and merciful.  David was saying all of these good things about God when he was going through a rough spot in his life.

Christian, the true test of your Christianity will be how you respond when going through rough times in your life.  It is easy to say good things about God when times are good, but let me remind you that the God of the good times is still God when bad times come. You must not forget that even if the "shadow of death" hovers over you, that God will provide, give you peace, guide you, comfort you, protect you, give you power to face the uncertain and He will be merciful and good to you.

The key to Psalm 23 is that David still responded right when times were tough.  The key to your life will be how you respond through your tough times.  Always remember that God is there for you in the bad times just like He is in the good times.

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A Man Child

Revelation 12:5

"And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne."

Twice in Revelation 12, Jesus is called "a man child." The reason He is called this is because He was all man, even from His childhood.  What I mean by this is that Jesus didn't act childish, but He acted like a man from His childhood.  When Jesus graduated into adulthood, He wasn't still acting like a child, but He acted like a man. Jesus was a great example of how we should train our young men.  From a child He started acting like a man, and when He became an adult, He didn't have to learn how to be a man for He was a man as a child.

I was recently talking to my good friend, Bro. Johnny Esposito, who is the Vice-President of Pacific Baptist Bible College in Long Beach, California. Our conversation was about how childish most men are these days.  He told me a few stories of some of the men in his college whose childish actions amazed him.  He then told me that our problem in today's society is that most men have a Peter Pan syndrome.  What he meant by this is that there are men who still want to play like a child and who have never grown up. I concur with his analysis as I look at most men today and see that they still have child-like tendencies.

If our nation is going to be saved, then we need some young men who will grow up.  This nation will not be saved by a bunch of childish men.  When you study history, you will see that the men who changed their society were not childish men, but they were men.  Just like Jesus acted like a man from a child, we need to start training our young men to be men from their childhood.

If this is going to happen, then there are several things we must do.  First, men need to grow up.  You will never make men out of boys when the men are acting like boys. It is sad when you have forty year old men who are still playing video games. Grow up! I'm not against a dad playing some video games with his children, but I am against a grown man being caught up in the video games himself.  Men need to grow up and stop pushing their responsibilities off on their wives.  Men need to grow up and start working instead of playing all the time.  Men need to grow up and stop whining about how hard life is.  I could go on and on, but if we are going to train our young boys to become men, then they need examples to follow.

Second, start training your boys to become men in their childhood. Teach them to work as a child. One of the greatest things that has destroyed our youth is the work permit.  I know there will be some who don't like this, but to say a child can't work until they are fifteen is crazy.  I'm not for them working forty hours a week, but I am for children learning as a child to work hard.  Boys will not be men if all they do is play, boys will become men by working.  Dad, take your boy with you and let him work with you.  Furthermore, stop babying your boys.  Every time they get a little boo boo, you don't need to baby them. Mom, if it is just a little scratch, you don't need to pamper him.  If it needs a bandaid, then put it on the hurt and let your boy learn how to be toughened up a bit.  Don't let your boy whine every time he gets hit on the football field.  This is good for your boy.

Last, teach your boys responsibility. Give them responsibilities at home for which they are in charge. Teach them how to make decisions.  When they don't fulfill their responsibility, admonish them and use it as a teaching aid to train them to follow through on responsibilities.

We are in desperate need of men. Boys will only become men if they are trained to be a man from childhood. Be sure that you are training a man and not a Peter Pan.

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What a Great God!

Revelation 2:9

"I know thy works, and tribulation, and poverty, (but thou art rich) and I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan."

In the first three chapters of the Book of Revelation, God reveals Himself to John by showing us four great attributes about Himself. In the writing of this book, John was exiled on the isle of Patmos for preaching the Word of God.  You must realize that John is experiencing persecution, and God is using this opportunity to reveal Himself to one of His chosen saints.  This revelation of Himself to John is certainly helpful for us as we look at the greatness of God.  There are four things that God says about Himself in these chapters that should be encouraging, and yet convicting to you as a Christian.

First, God calls Himself the "I am." Several times in the first chapter you will see this phrase.  What is so encouraging about this phrase is that God did not say, "I was," but He said about Himself, "I am." Christian, God is a present tense God.  He is the God Who is very present in all of your needs.  It doesn't matter what you may be facing today, you can rest assured that God is present with you to help you through your rough times.  It matters not where you live, God is an ever present God to help you through all of your troubles.  He isn't just a God Who helped people in the past, but He is a God Who is presently able to help you with whatever you face today.

Second, God says, "I know." Not only is God a present God, but He is a God Who is an all-knowing God.  As you can see from the Scriptures, He knows all that you do.  This can be convicting or encouraging depending upon what actions you take part in.  If you are living in sin, He knows.  If you are doing right and wonder if anyone notices, rest assured that God knows.  He knows whens others do not notice what you do for Him.  He knows how you feel as you go through trials.  He knows your fears and concerns of each day. He is a God Who knows everything that you do and think.  Christian, you may feel like it is worthless to do right, but let me remind you that God knows.

Third, God says, "I have." We can look at this phrase in two different ways. First, God reminded the churches that He had "somewhat against" them.  Oh, how you should desire not to live your life so that God would have something against you. Life is hard enough without God having something against you. If you are doing wrong, then immediately get it right so that God won't hold that against you.  But, we can also look at this phrase and see that God is a resourceful God.  He has the resources to meet all of your needs.  Your needs may be great, but God is greater than your needs, and He has the resources to meet them.  You need not worry, God is capable of taking care of you.

Last, God says, "I will." This little phrase reminds me that God is a God of action.  He will bless you if you do right. There are many who think that God sits on the sidelines and lets life play its way through, but according to the Scriptures, God is a God Who is very involved in the lives of His children.  He will bless them if they do right, and He will punish them if they do wrong.  If you do right, He will be there for you to help you through any obstacles you may face.  Ask God for His help in all that you do because He is a God Who will.

Take these four phrases and remember that God is a great God.  Everyday, remember that God is, God knows, God has and God will.  These four thoughts should help you to realize that you serve a great God.